I saw my second Nooma video Wednesday night. It was called Kickball. It's about not getting what you want. If you're familiar with the series, it's by Rob Bell, and he talks about something each of us face in our lives, and relates it to a personal story or something, and then connects it to our relationship with God. Before we watched the video, the leader asked us to imagine something that we really want, that we've asked for, but haven't yet gotten. Of course, the first thing that comes to my mind is a new job.
I have a great job. It pays well, has great benefits, is extremely flexible, and will look great on a resume. But it's not what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life. I'm not meant to spend my days behind a computer screen in a brown cubicle. But I just can't figure out what it is that I'm supposed to be doing. But, we don't need to get into that now. Suffice it to say, when I'm asked about what it is that I really want, but haven't gotten yet, the first thing that comes to mind is a new job. THE job, the one that challenges me just right, allows me to use all of my God-given gifts, and that invigorates me, instead of leaving me exhausted.
In Kickball, he tells about how he and his wife took their son to the mall. And as they walked down the mall, they came to a kiosk that was selling all these toys. And his son saw a toy that he wanted, a ball attached to a string that you attach to your arm and then throw, and it comes back and you catch it (if you can stop it from hitting you in the face). Now, his son's two and a half. And, like all two and a half year olds, he didn't really understand reasoning. Rob talked about how he and his wife had talked about getting their son a kickball, and they were planning to go to the sports store after their trip to the mall to get him one. But, of course, that means nothing to this two and a half year old standing in the mall, begging and crying for the toy that is in his sights.
So he tried to reason with his son, telling him that he doesn't really want this ball, that it'll just get all tangled and won't be any fun to play with, and that they're leaving to get something better.
Rob then talked about how there's always something we want. And we always think we know what we want, what's best for us. But God, God knows what we need, and when we need it. God is (yet again), like the parent who knows there's more, something better waiting just across the street.
After the video, we talked about it, fairly shallowly, because it's just an hour session with drop-in people - no real covenant group formation or anything like that. But to end the session, the leader asked us to close our eyes and imagine ourselves standing at the kiosk, looking at what it is that we want. And she leads us through this guided imgaining process.
So, I imagine myself standing at the kiosk. On the second shelf down is my perfect job. I don't even know what it is, but it's wrapped in one of those plastic packages that's impossible to get into. I reach out and pick it up. I'm holding it in both hands, gazing at its beauty. This job, this true meaning and fulfillment in my life is in my hands. It could be mine.
Then, God places his hand on my shoulder and says, "No. I've got something better."
I've got something better.
Then God puts the job back on the shelf, picks me up, and carries me out of the mall.
Tears are coming to my eyes, and I try to hide them because I don't really want to get into this right now with others. But it hit me again. God's got something better for me. I don't know what it is, but it's better. My waiting is not for naught. Some day, I have to trust, something better will be here.
It's so frustrating, because I'm such an impatient person. I want it now. It's in my hand, for heaven's sake! But I continue to be told and reminded that where I am is where I'm supposed to be.
So here I am. Until it's time for the something better, I'm here. And all I can pray for is that God will continue to give me the strength to do what it is that God wants me to do, which is obviously to stay right where I already am. So here I am.