Life is better with a little drama in it.

[title quote from Scott Nilsson]

I've jokingly said that my quarter-life crisis and my biological clock are at war. And neither side has been gaining much ground for the past several years. So many people I know are having babies, or are pregnant, or are trying, or whatever. It makes me look longingly at those cute bundles of joy and want one of my own. It also reminds me that my ever-so wonderful plan to have 3 kids, one when I'm 25, one when I'm 27, and one when I'm 29 is almost foiled. I have 9 days to get pregnant if that plan is to be set in motion. 

Not gonna happen. Okay, maybe. I'm not one to say never. But, highly unlikely. 

What is my quarter-life crisis, you ask? What is anyone's quarter-life crisis? "What am I DOING with my life?" My deep down goal of working in theatre has taken the back burner as I play the rat race at the 9-5 gig. It's been almost 3 years since I've been on a stage.

But no more. I've auditioned for a play, and I'm going to do it! I've heard, unofficially, that I've been cast as one of the leads! 

I didn't realize how much I really missed it. I knew that I love theatre, and that I missed it a lot, but when I got onto that stage last night to audition, I felt at home. I was excited getting into the characters' heads. I was thrilled when the audience laughed. I felt like I was doing something right—even in the middle of completely losing my place and having to stop the whole scene to find it again. No, this doesn't pay. No, it doesn't mean I can quit my day job. But it's a step. My quarter-life crisis is taking its step into first place. I've got great plans for my quarter-life crisis. 

And if my biological clock decides to rise to the challenge, maybe my wonderful husband will watch the kids while I have rehearsal! 

Forgiveness

I'm a quote person. I like to collect quotes. I've even found a useful purpose for my 500 business cards that I never use - I've been writing quotes on the back of them, and keeping them to read every now and then. I like funny quotes that only make sense in context, and take me back to a memory, or poignant quotes that make you think. And I get hung on quotes, too. I'll find one I like and live with it for awhile. I was living with this one from Mary Anne Radmacher: "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow."'

I recently read both The Shack and the Kite Runner. Both good books, interesting theology in the first, though not as life shattering to me as to others, I suppose. I agreed with most of it already. The Kite Runner, however was a challenging story. It was good, but hard to live with. However, I think I learned more about forgiveness from the Kite Runner than I did from the Shack, simply because of one quote from the Kite Runner. The narrator, Amir, is talking about his father, with whom his relationship was eternally strained. He says:

"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."

My adaptability strength enables me to move on quickly from emotional injuries. I find it hard, even, to hold a grudge when someone has wronged me. But I'm realizing that I much more easily hold a grudge against people who indirectly hurt me - those who hurt someone close to me, and cause me pain through association. Namely, an experience my mother had, which I haven't talked about here, and the Tennessee Conference's most recent experience with their Children and Youth coordinators. Neither of these directly affected me or my daily routine. But they affected people I love, and I find that I have a hard time letting go of that anger and resentment, even years later. 

So, this new quote has caught my soul. I'm going to live with it for awhile. We've studied forgiveness twice in Sunday school, and both times, I think we were looking for the fanfare. What makes it come? What starts the parade? But I think there is truth here: "pain... slipping away unannounced." And when we try to hold on to that pain, it's hard for us to even acknowledge when it's gone. 

One Little Word

Check out this post.

I'm a word person. Probably why I try to blog. I used to have a journal...still do, kinda. But I believe in the power of words. The written word, the spoken word.

I was enticed into choosing a word last year. My word was {content}. I was struggling with the present. So many people, I think, have trouble focusing on the present, always wanting to live in the past. For me, I have trouble with the future. I completely understand that the past is past, and while we can learn from it, there's not much we can do about it. I don't hold a grudge...it's almost (almost) impossible for me to do that. I have a really bad memory. The past is...past. But I struggle with living in the future. I have plans, dreams, and I spend way too much time focusing on how I want things to turn out or what I want to happen.

So, for 2008, I thought content would be a good word for me. An attempt to focus on the present, being content with where I was and what I was doing. I was feeling in a rut - I wasn't too pleased with lots of things in our life, and kept looking for things to change. And I realized that I really needed to stop and just be where I was at the time, and quit trying to change things or figure out what God had in store for our future.

So content it was. I even bought a little 5x7 artist's canvas to paint my word on and keep in my office. Here's what I did with it:


Haha...yeah, it didn't even come out of the package. Good thing, I guess, 'cuz now I can use it for this year's word!

And what might this year's word be? I'm still mulling it over slightly. I did some brainstorming:

I'm thinking that I still need something that coveys the present. While I lived with {content} I never really did anything with it. But I think I'm past that word. So many things changed last year, and though I didn't do anything creative with that word, I really feel like I found contentedness.

So, this year, I'm thinking something along the lines of {listen} or {silent}. Or maybe both. I love how those two words are made up of the same letters. They are so different, yet so related. And I feel like this is a year to listen. To be silent and take in what's going on around me. I often speak too soon, and don't have the patience to understand before responding. And I've always been enthralled by their connectedness (input...). Can my one little word actually be two? I think it's my word(s) and I can choose whatever I want!

Are you choosing a word? Even if you don't do anything with it...what one little word can make a difference in your life this year?

Once Upon a Win

Our friends over at LOL world (I Can Has Cheezburger and I Has a Hotdog, two sites that bring me much joy) have created a new branch to their site: Once Upon A Win. This great site is summed up with its tagline: A Visual Collection of Epic Wins from the Past. A contrast to their Fail Blog, which chronicles the failures and mishaps of our current world, Once Upon a Win reminds you of the greater parts of childhood. Take some time to peruse it's relatively short 9 pages (compared to the other lol sites which pages at the bottom reach to infinity and beyond) to experience a wonderful blast into the past. Page three currently includes a YouTube video of an entire game of Oregon Trail. Man, I miss fourth grade.

Happy Anniversary

Today was my and Mark's 5th Anniversary. Five years of marriage! It sure doesn't seem like it's been that long. We usually do anniversary gifts instead of Christmas gifts, our anniversary being 2 days after Christmas. But this year, with moving and a new job, we didn't even make it to the anniversary gifts. Plus, our anniversary being a Saturday, Mark had to work two movies today to top things off.

So, I decided to surprise him with a homemade dinner. I made a lasagna from a recipe I found on allrecipes.com. I started last night while Mark was at the movie by making the sauce, and let it sit overnight. Then when he left today, I completed the masterpiece, and topped it off with a Caesar salad, bread with EVOO (thanks, Rachael Ray), and a bottle of wine from the local liquor store - the only bottle of Italian wine I could find that wasn't the huge Maccaroni Grill bottle.

I think it turned out great!
























Of course, what would a dinner at our home be without a pitiful-eyed dog begging for a share? The rule has become he has to eat his own dinner before he can have any of ours. He's catching on slowly...we usually convince him to finish just in time to have a few of the left overs. Tonight, he was treated to some bread, dipped in the leftover cheese and sauce from our plates!















Speaking of the dog, this would be the same dog who, while we went to the movie tonight, decided to eat Mark's Symphony bar that he (Mark) received as a Christmas present. 6 oz. of chocolate later, we're calling the emergency vet, wondering what to do. According to the after hours vet ER, he may develop symptoms in 12-24 hours that would include vomiting and diarrhea. If he develops muscle spasms or tremors, then we're to take him to the ER. So, on my anniversary, instead of snuggling up with my hubby for a good night's sleep, I'm up with my dog, paranoid that he's going to react. Thanks, Brisoce. Happy anniversary to me.

Merry Christmas Eve!

It's 11:14 on Christmas Eve, and I'm cuddled up in my pajamas in my bed listening to Casey Kasem's Top 60 Christmas Songs Countdown on the radio. It's taking me back to my childhood, when we'd listen to his Top 40 each week on the radio in the car after church. We always had to get out of church and through lunch at least in enough time to hear the top ten.

Our Christmas Eve plans have been postponed. We were supposed to go to hubby's family today and celebrate with them, but his mom is sick. No fun being sick on Christmas! So we decided to just stay home, and not even go into town. Mark, himself, is fighting off a cold, so being lazy is a great idea right now.

With so many family, and this year, with so many family spread so far out, we had to plan our Christmas celebrations over the whole week, pretty much. Monday-Tuesday was my family, Wednesday-Thursday was Mark's family, and Thursday afternoon is Mark's extended family. Of course with sickness, that hasn't exactly panned out, but where as we were looking at a solid week of driving to all of these places, we now have 2 days of true vacation in the midst of the holidays.

We spent Christmas yesterday with my family, and what a Christmas it was! Our big present was new cookware - Caphlon! It's so awesome. There are eight different size pots - two skillets, 3 sauce pans, and a 6 quart. Plus, we got a dutch oven that came with the set as a freebie. It's beautiful. We have pretty good cookware right now, it was a wedding present, and has held up well for a Walmart registry item. But I'm excited about having some really good quality stuff to use in the kitchen. Now, if I can just learn how to cook a meal without messing up something...

Another present was The Tales of Beetle the Bard! I hadn't really been all that anxious to read it, for some reason. As obsessed with Harry Potter as I am, you'd think I'd have been in line, but just wasn't. But when we were shopping earlier this week, we passed a bookstore, and I saw it out on a display, and thought, I really hope someone gets me one of those for Christmas. So I was very excited to find it wrapped under the tree.

I am a little bummed that we're not doing more Christmas today. I'm really excited about some of the gifts we got Mark's family - especially the kids. Mark did a great job this year shopping for our soon-to-be niece and nephew, and our baby niece. I was so impressed! I can't wait to share our gifts with them. Maybe we'll be able to pick up our celebrations later this week.

I hope your Christmas is going well! Remember to celebrate, and not rush. Yeah...'cuz I'm so good at that.

Update on our lives

As many of you know, Mark and I have moved! Mark is working as the Associate Director for Choral Programming at the college in town. He is also serving as the Director of movie theatre on campus for his first year here. His schedule has been very busy this holiday season with choir concerts and movies. The transition has been good, so far. We are blessed with all of the pieces having fallen into place: I was approved to work from home three days a week. We are renting a house from some friends, which is a great situation for both us and them. Briscoe is adjusting nicely, enjoying the smells and sounds of a new place to live! As I said, all of the pieces have fallen into place, with the exception of one: we're still looking for someone to buy our house! All we want for Christmas... maybe Santa will pull through for us!

I'm hoping to post more here, as I am hoping to have more visitors. Maybe that can be my New Year's Resolution, instead of losing weight...always a silly idea!