In the midst of the party excitement, my family had some sad news to digest. My father's youngest sister, Martha, passed away last week. She was 52, and died of a massive stroke. It was very unexpected.
My father's family is not that large. There are about 10 of us now. Stark contrast to my mom's family, and even more so to my husband's family.
As a result of the small family, my sister and I felt it would be really good if we could go to the service. We weren't exactly close to this aunt, but wanted to be there for our cousins and dad. And since there are so few of us on that side, we knew our presence would be missed.
So we, with the wonderfully loving husband in tow, drove the five hours to her service Monday, and then turned around and drove the five hours back. It was a long day, but I'm very glad we went, to be there for our family, if not only for the words my father spoke at the service.
My father, the pastor, amazes me. How he is able to put on his preacher face and lead in the midst of grief I will never understand. He led the whole service, which was beautiful. And when the time came for the sermon/homily/honoring of the one who had passed, his words were peaceful and comforting, and quite beautiful.
He talked about brothers and sisters. And how the relationship between and among siblings is like no other. He used two quotes that he sent to us after the service, and me being a quote person, I latched on to them quickly:
"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each others' hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." –Clara Ortega
"Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk." –Susan Scarf Merrell
As I was listening to him, I got to thinking about my sister and our relationship, and how we travel through life sharing something with our siblings that we can't share with anyone else in the same way. Sure, our parents were there for our childhoods, and probably remember it better than we do. But that shared experience of living through growing up together not only affects who we are and how we see each other, but how we relate to one another once the growing up is done.
It has been a hard time for my family. It's one thing to bury your parents, you expect to do that sometime in your life. And the grief of burying a child must be on an entirely different plane. But the experience of burying a sibling is one I have never much contemplated before.
The words he added at the end of the service: "Go with God into the dawn of that new day and wait for us—we are on our way."
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Surprise!
Well, I actually pulled it off! My 'rents-in-law and I have been planning a surprise party for dear sweet hubby for about 2 months now. We did a movie theme, to go along with his current occupation and his general love for cinema. His mom made two wonderful cakes - a clapboard, and a movie reel. And our friends from a singing group we used to be a part of helped out with all the food. I made a slide show of pictures of him (I love iPhoto!). We had about 60 people in attendance, which was a great turn out! I was so excited, and very appreciative of everyone who helped out and attended.
And the best part? He was completely surprised! We had told him that he was needed to play dinner music for a birthday party, and he even had his stack of music with him as he came in. He had no idea! I was pretty much resigned to the idea that he would figure it out at some point, or at least get suspicious, but he never did. I was very pleased with our success. The downside is that he's sworn to never believe anything his mom or I tell him ever again. Eh, I think it was worth it!
And the best part? He was completely surprised! We had told him that he was needed to play dinner music for a birthday party, and he even had his stack of music with him as he came in. He had no idea! I was pretty much resigned to the idea that he would figure it out at some point, or at least get suspicious, but he never did. I was very pleased with our success. The downside is that he's sworn to never believe anything his mom or I tell him ever again. Eh, I think it was worth it!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
What Office Supply Am I?
My friend over at gavoweb tipped me off to this quiz. And, since I'm battling insomnia at the current moment, what better way to kill time than take an innocent online quiz?
I think it's quite interesting that, of all the office supplies out there, I am a red pen. In college, my mentor loved using a red pen. He always found fault in something. He'd write all over tests and papers with that red pen, marking corrections and adding in what we left out. The thing was, it wasn't a bad thing, he was probably the best teacher I had, and we always joked with him about his inability to give a perfect score, no matter how much my classmates and I put into our work. He inspired us to always do better.
I digress. We did joke a lot about that red pen, I think we even bought him a box of red pens upon our graduation, or at least talked about it. At one point we tried to tell him that using red was psychologically damaging to students, and he should use blue or green, as it would be more peaceful, and uplifting to his students. He would have none of it!
And now, according to this silly little online quiz, I'm a red pen. At first, I almost laughed out loud. Seriously? But as I think about it, if this is saying I'm in any way similar to this loved professor, I'm more than okay with that.
You Are a Red Pen |
 You have an eagle eye for detail, and this often means you end up finding mistakes in people's work. You may seem quick to criticize or correct, but you think accuracy and truth is important. You like to be involved in every project. You feel like you put the polishing touch on things. You would make a good editor, detective, or accountant. When facts matter, you're the person to call on. |
I think it's quite interesting that, of all the office supplies out there, I am a red pen. In college, my mentor loved using a red pen. He always found fault in something. He'd write all over tests and papers with that red pen, marking corrections and adding in what we left out. The thing was, it wasn't a bad thing, he was probably the best teacher I had, and we always joked with him about his inability to give a perfect score, no matter how much my classmates and I put into our work. He inspired us to always do better.
I digress. We did joke a lot about that red pen, I think we even bought him a box of red pens upon our graduation, or at least talked about it. At one point we tried to tell him that using red was psychologically damaging to students, and he should use blue or green, as it would be more peaceful, and uplifting to his students. He would have none of it!
And now, according to this silly little online quiz, I'm a red pen. At first, I almost laughed out loud. Seriously? But as I think about it, if this is saying I'm in any way similar to this loved professor, I'm more than okay with that.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Life is better with a little drama in it.
[title quote from Scott Nilsson]
I've jokingly said that my quarter-life crisis and my biological clock are at war. And neither side has been gaining much ground for the past several years. So many people I know are having babies, or are pregnant, or are trying, or whatever. It makes me look longingly at those cute bundles of joy and want one of my own. It also reminds me that my ever-so wonderful plan to have 3 kids, one when I'm 25, one when I'm 27, and one when I'm 29 is almost foiled. I have 9 days to get pregnant if that plan is to be set in motion.
Not gonna happen. Okay, maybe. I'm not one to say never. But, highly unlikely.
What is my quarter-life crisis, you ask? What is anyone's quarter-life crisis? "What am I DOING with my life?" My deep down goal of working in theatre has taken the back burner as I play the rat race at the 9-5 gig. It's been almost 3 years since I've been on a stage.
But no more. I've auditioned for a play, and I'm going to do it! I've heard, unofficially, that I've been cast as one of the leads!
I didn't realize how much I really missed it. I knew that I love theatre, and that I missed it a lot, but when I got onto that stage last night to audition, I felt at home. I was excited getting into the characters' heads. I was thrilled when the audience laughed. I felt like I was doing something right—even in the middle of completely losing my place and having to stop the whole scene to find it again. No, this doesn't pay. No, it doesn't mean I can quit my day job. But it's a step. My quarter-life crisis is taking its step into first place. I've got great plans for my quarter-life crisis.
And if my biological clock decides to rise to the challenge, maybe my wonderful husband will watch the kids while I have rehearsal!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Forgiveness
I'm a quote person. I like to collect quotes. I've even found a useful purpose for my 500 business cards that I never use - I've been writing quotes on the back of them, and keeping them to read every now and then. I like funny quotes that only make sense in context, and take me back to a memory, or poignant quotes that make you think. And I get hung on quotes, too. I'll find one I like and live with it for awhile. I was living with this one from Mary Anne Radmacher: "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow."'
I recently read both The Shack and the Kite Runner. Both good books, interesting theology in the first, though not as life shattering to me as to others, I suppose. I agreed with most of it already. The Kite Runner, however was a challenging story. It was good, but hard to live with. However, I think I learned more about forgiveness from the Kite Runner than I did from the Shack, simply because of one quote from the Kite Runner. The narrator, Amir, is talking about his father, with whom his relationship was eternally strained. He says:
"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
My adaptability strength enables me to move on quickly from emotional injuries. I find it hard, even, to hold a grudge when someone has wronged me. But I'm realizing that I much more easily hold a grudge against people who indirectly hurt me - those who hurt someone close to me, and cause me pain through association. Namely, an experience my mother had, which I haven't talked about here, and the Tennessee Conference's most recent experience with their Children and Youth coordinators. Neither of these directly affected me or my daily routine. But they affected people I love, and I find that I have a hard time letting go of that anger and resentment, even years later.
So, this new quote has caught my soul. I'm going to live with it for awhile. We've studied forgiveness twice in Sunday school, and both times, I think we were looking for the fanfare. What makes it come? What starts the parade? But I think there is truth here: "pain... slipping away unannounced." And when we try to hold on to that pain, it's hard for us to even acknowledge when it's gone.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
One Little Word
Check out this post.
I'm a word person. Probably why I try to blog. I used to have a journal...still do, kinda. But I believe in the power of words. The written word, the spoken word.
I was enticed into choosing a word last year. My word was {content}. I was struggling with the present. So many people, I think, have trouble focusing on the present, always wanting to live in the past. For me, I have trouble with the future. I completely understand that the past is past, and while we can learn from it, there's not much we can do about it. I don't hold a grudge...it's almost (almost) impossible for me to do that. I have a really bad memory. The past is...past. But I struggle with living in the future. I have plans, dreams, and I spend way too much time focusing on how I want things to turn out or what I want to happen.
So, for 2008, I thought content would be a good word for me. An attempt to focus on the present, being content with where I was and what I was doing. I was feeling in a rut - I wasn't too pleased with lots of things in our life, and kept looking for things to change. And I realized that I really needed to stop and just be where I was at the time, and quit trying to change things or figure out what God had in store for our future.
So content it was. I even bought a little 5x7 artist's canvas to paint my word on and keep in my office. Here's what I did with it:
Haha...yeah, it didn't even come out of the package. Good thing, I guess, 'cuz now I can use it for this year's word!
And what might this year's word be? I'm still mulling it over slightly. I did some brainstorming:
I'm thinking that I still need something that coveys the present. While I lived with {content} I never really did anything with it. But I think I'm past that word. So many things changed last year, and though I didn't do anything creative with that word, I really feel like I found contentedness.
So, this year, I'm thinking something along the lines of {listen} or {silent}. Or maybe both. I love how those two words are made up of the same letters. They are so different, yet so related. And I feel like this is a year to listen. To be silent and take in what's going on around me. I often speak too soon, and don't have the patience to understand before responding. And I've always been enthralled by their connectedness (input...). Can my one little word actually be two? I think it's my word(s) and I can choose whatever I want!
Are you choosing a word? Even if you don't do anything with it...what one little word can make a difference in your life this year?
I'm a word person. Probably why I try to blog. I used to have a journal...still do, kinda. But I believe in the power of words. The written word, the spoken word.
I was enticed into choosing a word last year. My word was {content}. I was struggling with the present. So many people, I think, have trouble focusing on the present, always wanting to live in the past. For me, I have trouble with the future. I completely understand that the past is past, and while we can learn from it, there's not much we can do about it. I don't hold a grudge...it's almost (almost) impossible for me to do that. I have a really bad memory. The past is...past. But I struggle with living in the future. I have plans, dreams, and I spend way too much time focusing on how I want things to turn out or what I want to happen.
So, for 2008, I thought content would be a good word for me. An attempt to focus on the present, being content with where I was and what I was doing. I was feeling in a rut - I wasn't too pleased with lots of things in our life, and kept looking for things to change. And I realized that I really needed to stop and just be where I was at the time, and quit trying to change things or figure out what God had in store for our future.
So content it was. I even bought a little 5x7 artist's canvas to paint my word on and keep in my office. Here's what I did with it:
Haha...yeah, it didn't even come out of the package. Good thing, I guess, 'cuz now I can use it for this year's word!
And what might this year's word be? I'm still mulling it over slightly. I did some brainstorming:
I'm thinking that I still need something that coveys the present. While I lived with {content} I never really did anything with it. But I think I'm past that word. So many things changed last year, and though I didn't do anything creative with that word, I really feel like I found contentedness.So, this year, I'm thinking something along the lines of {listen} or {silent}. Or maybe both. I love how those two words are made up of the same letters. They are so different, yet so related. And I feel like this is a year to listen. To be silent and take in what's going on around me. I often speak too soon, and don't have the patience to understand before responding. And I've always been enthralled by their connectedness (input...). Can my one little word actually be two? I think it's my word(s) and I can choose whatever I want!
Are you choosing a word? Even if you don't do anything with it...what one little word can make a difference in your life this year?
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