Knowledge and Faith

I'm alive!

2009-12-29T15:00:00.002-06:00

It's been so long since I blogged, I need to catch up! I'm hoping this can be sort of a cathartic experience - processing the last several months preparing to move into the future. It seems like I've been in a funk recently. There have been lots of good things, but a couple of big things that are stressing me out. We'll focus on the good things.

The Tempest went well. We were inside one night, so my set piece got used once. I'm glad it was used period. It was hard moving inside and then back out, as an actress. I thought it was going to be tough being outside. Because of weather, we only got to rehearse once outside before we opened, and then did four of the five performances out there. We were all a little stressed, but everyone transferred well, and, to me at least, it was hard moving back inside once we got settled out there!

The fall semester is over - classes went well for both me and the hubby. I ended up picking up a night class, Education as a Profession, to explore the possibility of getting certified to teach. I really enjoyed my Shakespeare class - getting back into the "student" mode. It, along with becoming involved with the choir, helped me to make connections with some students on campus.

I still haven't completely finished my first online class - Learn Something New Every Day - that I did in September. I finished the album pages, but haven't quite gotten the pictures onto the pages yet. I, of course, have grand plans of doing that. In the meantime, I thought it would be a good idea to pick up another scrapbooking class - a December Daily class that encourages you to scrap about each day in December leading up to Christmas. I really should learn better about myself. I am not a daily scrapbooker - I scrapbook events. So, it turned more into a scrapbooking of December events, which is fine. I'll try to get some of those pages posted up here, I'm pretty pleased with them. I explored digital scrapbooking with this class, using Adobe Photoshop Elements. I like it a lot, though it is very different from paper scrapbooking. It's probably a good way for me to get a lot of pages done, and I really like that I can scrapbook anywhere that I can take my computer (i.e. in-laws' house and my living room without taking over the coffee table!) The downside is I'm using the Free 30-day trial of PE, and it's going to expire probably sometime this week, and I don't really have the money to buy the full program. So, this may be the end of my digital scrapbooking experience, for awhile, at least.

Hmm...what else. Well, Christmas was last week. We had an awesome Christmas. We hit the highlights - Mark's extended and immediate family, my immediate and some extended family. We were blessed with great gifts and great company. My sister passed on her Wii to us as a present - awesome! She got it last year and enjoyed having it for awhile, but I think the newness had worn off, so it's come to live at our house. We haven't turned it on yet, but I'm looking forward to playing some tennis - I think it might be my favorite of the games that we now have. Oh, and I'm definitely going to have to check out some Harry Potter games. Some other things we got were additional chairs for our table (now I can invite more than 2 people over for dinner!) and Mark got a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer (been on his wish list for awhile, now).

Alright, is that enough of an update? I make no promises to blog more, for anyone who's reading along. Actually... if you are reading, would you let me know? Comment or something, just to let me know you're out there. I usually hate bloggers who ask for comments or beg for feedback. But, think of it as a survey. The 2010 Census is coming up, so we'll call it a census of my blog. Really, it's just to let me know if I should feel guilty for not posting for... 4 months. Gulp. I feel guilty whether there's anyone out there or not.

Desigining the Set for The Tempest

2009-09-11T12:20:00.006-05:00

I've finally finished the model of the set for the fall production of The Tempest last night- or, at least, it's at a point where it's actually looking like what it's supposed to look like. I'm sure it will be "tweaked" a lot over the next few days as we nail down the final design. I'm so excited about designing this set piece. It's very simple, as the director is a bit of a minimalist, and we have very low skill level in the area of construction.

The model is out of foam core, a supply of which I have been toting around with me for the past six years since I took a class in scenic design. (That stuff's expensive!) I'm glad I am finally able to use it.

(if you don't look too closely, I think it looks like it could be life-size!)

The concept is a platform, under which is the cave in which Caliban lives (behind the cloth). Off the back of the platform is the general direction in which Prospero and Miranda live - we'll use an already existing set of stairs to access the platform back stage (in between the railings). The platform is 3 feet high, about 8 feet wide and 3 and a half feet deep. The show will open with the platform turned around the other way:

to act as the ship for the first scene. I have in mind to drape this side with cloth painted to look like a ship of some sort, and then remove the cloth for the rest of the show, just to add to the idea of a ship. We'll see how that goes over. It'll then be turned back around to serve as the cave on the island.

My original idea was to have this curved platform with stairs (also curved) down both sides. The director is worried it will be too large with two sets of stairs, so we're dropping back to one. And it was suggested today by the director's husband that we use the stairs already built for the platform that is used on our outdoor stage for this inside platform, relieving us of having to build another set of stairs. The only reason we'll be inside is if we get rained out of our outdoor stage, so we'll just add the stairs to the list of things to be moved inside.

I'm very excited about this, especially because I think it's versatile, and can be used in further productions when we need a platform. It may not be Broadway worthy, but it's a great step for our theatre!

One of Those Unproductive Days

2009-09-10T17:55:00.002-05:00

I just don't feel like I've gotten anything done today, even though I really did. I could list the things I accomplished. I think it's that there's still so much I need to do and want to do that it doesn't feel like I got really far. And the things I did today took a lot more time that I wanted to spend on them, so that cut down my time to do other things.

So, it's just been one of those unproductive days. However, something I am excited about is I finally figured out the "Next" button on Google Reader. It's under settings (top right corner), under "Goodies." (I kept looking on the home page for it). It's a bookmark that you drag to your bookmark toolbar, and when you click on it, it takes you through your reader items that have been updated - takes you to the actual site! - and marks them as read in your reader. So awesome!

Learning How to Play Catch Up

2009-09-10T12:35:00.007-05:00

The bad news: I haven't blogged since day two of learning something new. The good news, I have actually been journaling and scrapping! I think going into town this past weekend is what messed me up. I was too busy living life to scrap it. I'm okay with that!

So, here are four new pages for you to enjoy!

Thursday, I learned an important lesson about being married. Mark had had a really long day, and it was nice to be able to have dinner waiting for him when he got home. With both of us working so much this fall, we've been having a lot of fast food. It's nice when one of us has the time to cook! The picture of this page is a picture of the meal - Taco Ring, Mexican Rice, and chips and salsa!

On Friday, the most exciting thing happened... we paid off our debt!!! We've been working toward this for about 2 years now, and finally paid the last bit Friday! It was a great day, and we've been celebrating as much as we can! The pictures here are of me and Mark, and of Mark holding his diploma (his master's was the last thing we paid off).

Friday night, to celebrate, we went to Shakespeare on the Green in town and saw The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. It was a lot of fun. Having stage managed the show twice, I think I got more of the jokes than most people in the audience. But it was still a good time.

Saturday, we celebrated by going to a college football game. It was tons of fun. I wasn't really feeling good when we left, and didn't really want to be there, but when we actually got to the game, I had a blast! I learned that I really do like football games! The picture here is of me and Mark at the game, of course!

On Sunday, we got to go to our church, which we don't get to do a whole lot because we now live an hour and a half away. It was great to see everyone, and that night our Sunday school class had a Mystery Luau Dinner Party! It was so much fun getting to dress up and play the roles. I was Holly Day, and Mark was Les Baggs. Mark, of course, figured out who dunnit and pointed the finger at the right culprit. I couldn't have been more off the mark. ;-) It was still a great evening. I was reminded how much I love my friends, and how lucky we are to still have those connections, even after moving. Picture is of the whole group who was there for the party.

That's what I've got so far. I'm getting to the point where working without pictures is hindering me, so I think I'm going to print off a group of pictures and add them in to catch up. I can't wait to see it REALLY finished, with pictures and everything!

Learn Something New Day 2

2009-09-03T17:08:00.009-05:00

So far I'm two for two! Here's the page:

And here's the picture for the day:

Background: I was trying to create my favorite Close To My Heart color (Garden Green) on my computer because somewhere along the way I received a file with the RGB color combinations for creating them on the computer. Thing was, I had the values, and my computer wanted percentages. I asked a designer friend of mine if she knew how to translate them from value to percentage, and she told me that they are out of 255. I had no idea! But, knowing that, I was able to use my mad algebra skills (sarcasm intended) to translate them into percentages, and you can see the result of my beautiful Garden Green font color above! I used the color to create the journaling blocks that I'm using throughout my book. A very exciting thing to learn!

'Til tomorrow...

Learn Something New Day 1

2009-09-02T23:42:00.005-05:00

Okay, according to my clock, I have 18 minutes left in day 2, which means I have 18 minutes left to finish day 1's page. Good thing I'm done. :-)

First things first. I finished my cover today, too.

I'm quite pleased with it, for now. I may add some detail to it as the month progresses. But I do want to keep it simple. I have a hard time adding 3D elements to covers, they seem to get bent out of shape - literally.

Here's page 1:

It's very simple, too. My theory is that if I keep things simple, I'll have an easier time doing this each day. Just get the paper and a place for the picture down. (I'm taking pictures as the month goes along and will probably print them all off together at the end of the month, since I don't really have a way to print as I go without finding myself at the Wal-Mart Photo Department every day.) I've established a possible pattern with this first page. My book is 7x7.5, and with this page I've got a 6x6 square, 2.5x6 piece of patterned paper, the picture, and the journaling, plus the day and date. I may keep with this format, or I may not. I wanted to start with something easily reproducible yet flexible in case I need to come back to the ease of simplicity. But I may go crazy tomorrow!

Here's the picture that will go on today's page:

It's of me studying for my Shakespeare class. I really enjoyed reading, and even enjoyed the sense of excitement/fear if I was going to be able to keep up in class. I had nothing to worry about, at least that day!

Working in 3D

2009-09-02T08:16:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I mentioned that things have been and are getting pretty crazy around here. It is very exciting, because it's all good stuff, with the exception of the ear infection I've been battling for four days.

So, what's been going on?

Classes started last week. I'm taking one course this semester, a class on Shakespeare. It's been a lot of fun so far, and I'm learning (again) that I really can read Shakespeare. I kind of have to get into the grove, but for the most part I'm understanding it. Mark's started classes, too, he's teaching 6 classes this fall, including 2 choirs. All this is well and good, except that for pretty much the entire summer we were both home. Now that we're both gone a lot more, our poor dog thinks he's been abandoned.

We also started rehearsals for the fall production of The Tempest. I'm playing Miranda (so freakin' excited!!!) I was just simply excited about theatre in general, not horribly thrilled about this particular play or part, but after blocking Act One, I am really looking forward to this production. The people are awesome (getting reacquainted with many old friends), and I'm going to have a lot of fun with this part.

I blogged yesterday about the start of my online class, Learn Something New Everyday. I've been working on my cover, and today will begin designing page one (to scrap what I learned yesterday). I'm not stressing about this project... yet. Okay, maybe I'm stressing a little. :-)

Something that's been rolling around in the back of my mind for about a week is the possibility of taking private voice lessons. I've never really thought about doing this much, as other instruments have always been higher on my priority list (violin, guitar, piano), but after the fiasco that was me singing at last year's Talent Show (we just don't talk about that, it really was bad), I think I need help. I've always taken my voice for granted, but I've also always been singing in some sort of group, be it church choir, school choir, or community group. I'm singing with a group again, but I really think I need the extra support private lessons would give me. So I'm considering this. Haven't done anything about it yet.

Finally, the thing I'm probably most excited about, I was asked to design the set for The Tempest! I could do a whole post just on set design (and maybe I will...), but I'll be brief (ha!) since I've already been so verbose. Basically, I'm designing the set for the interior stage, and it will only be used/seen if we get rained out of our outdoor space. But I don't care. I'm just excited to get to flex my creativity muscles in the set world. It's been awhile since I've done any set work, so I'm looking forward to this a lot! I've started drawing my ideas, only to learn that I really can't draw. So, I believe a scale model will be in my future. I've always worked better in 3D.

Learn Something New Every Day

2009-09-01T10:49:00.004-05:00

I'm hastily beginning to realize that this is going to be a very busy month. It will be such a nice change, as I think I've been feeling things getting fairly mundane lately. I just hope I won't have over-extended myself by the time the month is out!

There's so much going on, and I want to tell you about it all, but for now I'm going to start with one thing, because I'm excited about working out the tech details of how to tell it.

I'm taking my first online class! It's through Shimelle.com. Shimelle is a scrapbooker in the UK who's blog I follow. I've watched this class go by for several years now, and this year I decided was the year to join. I'm so excited about this class. The concept to keep a record of what you learn every day for a month. We all know how drastically poor my last "do something every day for x time period" worked out (see here and here if you're masochistic and just want to relive the fail... I did actually make it through the week, and took pictures every day, but before I scrapbooked them, or even printed them off, my HD crashed, and I lost them all.)

But this time I have no expectations whatsoever. I do have an album, an old stapled book I got at Barnes and Noble or something of the sort that's a bunch of pages stapled together. And I'm using a pack of paper that had no original reason for being bought other than that I liked it. I'm compiling from my current stash, with the plan to not buy anything (which has reason more in the financial side of things rather than the not needing more stuff, but more about that later). But no expectations. I'm going to take each day as it comes and see what happens. And I just may learn that I don't really have time to do any of it! But I hope I learn that life, my life in particular, really does have exciting things going for it.

So, go check out the class! I'd recommend it for anyone, even non-scrapbookers. Shimelle's instructions are so simple you can do it with just a pen and a journal, and, as she says, "this project can be considered complete and valuable without a single scrapbooking supply."

Here's to learning something new!

Choices

2009-08-25T16:49:00.002-05:00

I did a lot of church musicals growing up. I can remember asking the choir director if I could be in the children's musical when I was only in the 1st grade (it being the 3-6 grade choir that did the musical). I had "borrowed" the tape from my sister (who was in the musical) and listened to the music over and over again until I learned it for myself, and on the night they staged it, I asked, and got to be a part.

Even after we left that church, I was involved in musicals at other churches. It seems every church does at least one. In the fifth grade, I remember being at lunch with the choir director and my family, and he asked me if I would be one of the leads in the upcoming children's musical, Shortstops, a baseball musical. I was elated, and had so much fun.

(By the way, this post isn't about children's musicals.)

There was this one song in Shortstops called Choices. Interestingly enough, of all the musicals I've been in, with all the songs, this song has stuck in my head over the years.

"Choices are waiting just around the corner,
choices that have to be made.
Some are polite, some are out of order,
none of them want to wait.
So what do I do at times like these,
what is my action plan?
Shut out the world, say an honest prayer,
open the Book and take a look at what's there.
Choices, voices, little everyday things that everyday brings.
I will listen to the Spirit, and then make the choice
from the voice that is Jesus in me."

I've been thinking a lot about choices lately. I made the choice in college to study Christian Education, and now have a job in that field. But I am drawn to theatre, desiring to be involved in it in any way I can. And I find myself asking, what is it that I'm supposed to be doing? What did God create me to do? What is God calling me to do?

The thought crossed my mind the other day that God doesn't care. No, God cares about me, but God doesn't care whether I choose CE or Theatre. God just wants me to be happy, to be who I am, whatever my field.

And while that may be a comforting thought, it's actually quite terrifying. Because it means that the choice hasn't been made for me. I'm not supposed to be doing Christian Education, I'm not supposed to be doing Theatre. I'm not supposed to be doing either, because I have the choice. And I have to choose, because I've been trying to do both, and I feel pulled apart at the seams. I've never really had to choose in my life. I mean, yeah, I had to choose a college, and I chose a mate, but in those and other choices I've made, I claimed more than I had before. I gained something wonderful, without really giving up anything. This time, it feels like I finally have to give up something, something that I do want to do, whichever it may be. Something that flows in and out of me like breathing.

I could be wrong. Maybe I can keep on doing both, and I'm going to for as long as I can. But something inside feels like my choice is waiting, just around the corner.

Right Now

2009-08-19T09:05:00.002-05:00

Right now, I'm sitting at my desk at home, working and listening to Pandora.

Right now, my dog is at my feet, sleeping peacefully.

Right now, my desk is cluttered and it'd driving me crazy.

Right now, my scrapbooking and art supplies are still packed in boxes in my closet.

Right now, my bed is not made.

Right now, I'm missing lots of people that I haven't seen in too long.

Right now, I'm struggling with things like calling and friendship and purpose and truth.

Right now, I'm trying to not beat myself up for the things I have/have not done, and trying to not worry about the things I have yet to do.

Right now, I am not at peace. However, I am striving to be content. I am striving to just be.

Harry Potter Countdown

2009-07-07T08:35:00.003-05:00

Okay, the countdown has already begun for many people, but for me, I've just been getting in the mood over the past few weeks or so. I think it's because we had decided not to go to the midnight showing, because we're going to be out of town. But, we've changed our mind and have decided to go on our vacation, now, and have our tickets, so it's starting to seem more real to me!

In honor of the 6th movie, I wanted to re-read the series. I started with The Sorcerer's Stone back in April when I had plenty of time to read them all. However, life got in the way, and I just finished Chamber of Secrets last week. (I had a really hard time getting motivated to finish CoS, I think because it's my least favorite. I understand its importance in the whole series, but it still seems the most unnecessary to me. That, and I can't stand Lockhart. Not in an I love to hate him way, I just flat out hate him.) I started Prisoner of Azkaban over the weekend, but have decided to skip ahead, thinking a re-read of Half-Blood Prince is more important. So, I read the Ministry of Magic battle to the end of Order of the Phoenix and began HBP last night. I feel sure I can finish it before the movie, but think I'll wait until after the movie to read Deathly Hallows again. I'm most excited about Deathly Hallows. I've only read it once, and I zoomed through it that one time in the 24 hours after it was first released.

I want to talk about movie vs. book for a second in regard to the 3rd (Prisoner of Azkaban) and 5th (Order of the Phoenix) because I'm intrigued by some choices that were made. I understand the different medium of movie vs. book, and how each calls for something different, and overall I've been pleased with how the franchise has honored the story of each book in film, rather than trying to make a movie that follows the book exactly. But there are two thing I wish they would have done differently. For a long time after the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, I was frustrated with the amount of information left out of the movie about Harry's father and 3 friends. Though, I think I'm going to wait and say more about this after I've re-watched the third movie. For now, I want to move on to my second beef, with Order of the Phoenix.

Spoiler warning: If you haven't read the fifth book or seen the movie or learned what happened, you deserve for the ending to be spoiled. I will do so below.

In the book, when Harry returns to Dumbledore's office after the battle at the Ministry, he is outraged. He has been ignored for an entire year by one of the few adults that he has learned to trust, has been manipulated by his mortal enemy, has spent the last 10 months being surrounded by governmental authority figures who deny everything he knows about himself and Voldemort, and now has lost the one adult that he's truly begun to see as a parental figure. On top of that, he's 15. He deserves a breakdown. That scene in Dumbledore's office where Dumbledore sits patiently while Harry destroys his possessions is... beautiful. Harry's emotions are so pure and unbridled. And we learn so much about Dumbledore, about how old men make mistakes, too, and the deep love he has grown to have for Harry. I was really looking forward to that scene in the movie. But what we got was a subdued, 2 minute conversation that barely brushed the surface of the information that needed to be conveyed, much less the emotions of these characters after such a difficult experience. Again, I understand the needs of film are different from the needs and abilities of a book, but I really think we missed Harry and Dumbledore's characters when we lost that scene. It's probably one of my favorites in the whole series.

Well, instead of re-reading the whole series, we've decided to watch the movies in preparation for the 6th one. We started with Sorcerer's Stone last night. It was... long. It was good, for the most part, but they were all young. I was watching the opening scene with Dumbledore and McGonagall and thinking, man, did they have any idea how big this was going to be when they first started? They did have a long way to go - I noticed the editing was choppy, and the characters didn't always react they way they needed to, or even have continuity in their reactions. Like, at the end when Dumbledore is awarding extra points for Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville's acts, one second Hermione is blissfully applauding with the table of Griffindors, and the next she's excitedly whispering that they're tied with Slytherin. And a lot of Hagrid's reactions are delayed, like when the goblin at Gringotts asks for Harry's key. I know, nit-picky. But I did notice it. What I noticed more is that they got better (of course), and I'm hoping to be more aware of that as we watch the next four (five!) movies.

Taken Back

2009-06-24T15:14:00.002-05:00

Do you ever have that experience when you are all of a sudden reminded of something from a long time ago, out of nowhere? It's not really deja vu, because you can place the memory.

I was brushing my teeth this morning, and all of a sudden, the combination of Altoids, water, and toothpaste in my mouth brought back the memory of my grandparents' backyard, when my cousin and I used to play in their garden. I'm not sure what specifically I was reminded of. Something about the water, maybe drinking the water from the hose in their yard. My grandfather had this bird feeder, and also this board that he set up on top of the fence that he'd put birdseed and other food for the birds on. It always frustrated him when the squirrels would get to it. Behind the fence, my grandmother had a garden, kind of back in the woods and up a little hill. I've always wanted to have a garden, and I think it's because of her.

Right inside their back door was a laundry room where they had a fridge. I don't remember if it was their main fridge, I think so. But I remember they always had it stocked full of drinks and snacks for us when we would come. It was so freeing to be able to grab and eat anything you wanted, not that we didn't do that at home, but somehow it was different.

Hmm, it's just nice to think about. Childhood memories, and my grandparent's backyard.

See, one of these days, I'm going to do something creative to share and preserve memories like these. Though, maybe just blogging about them is simply enough.

Annual Conference Day 3.1

2009-06-17T10:03:00.002-05:00

Annual Conference ended on a great note. Just before the CFA report and the "Where will the 2010 Conference meet" report (which are always the last two) we heard the official report of the camping ministries. I was very pleased with how they provided both positives and negatives, both honoring what this camp in question is and has been, and being truthful about what it needs to be.

The began by asking themselves what our liability would be if they kept the camp open. They then asked what our spiritual liability would be if we closed it.

What a powerful, important question to ask, especially as they shared the statistics that 60-80% of Christians make their profession of faith at camp.

They revisited the information given in the briefing, that in 2001-2002, the camp experienced a decline in attendance, which we thought was attributed to the incident that occurred there, however camps across the country experienced the same percentage in decrease as we did as a result of 9/11. They continued by saying that the camps that survived and thrived are the ones who "retooled" and moved on in a better direction. We did no such thing with this camp, and the task force proclaimed that they see this camp to be at ground zero.

So, what the task force proposed was to build a new intentional connection between the Conference office and the camping ministries. They propose to operate the camp as only a summer camp until additional usage and income mandates the hiring of a full time director for the camp to be open year round. In the meantime, the lodges will be available year round for "self-use" by churches (meaning you have to cook your own meals).

They propose to update the camp by cleaning the cabins and making them more user-friendly. The kitchen and the dining area are in dire need of renovation, including a whole new kitchen and air-conditioning the space. They acknowledge that we are competing with camps across the state that are already offering much better facilities.

On a broader note, they encouraged the conference to take camping ministries to a place where we are doing a camping ministry that no longer takes a back seat and does things half way, but looks forward and meets the needs of children and youth. They look for the day that this camp can apply and become accredited by the American Camp Association.

They talked about how to fund it, and then told the story of the priceless pearl for which the man was willing to sell literally everything he had. As he walked out the door of the store, the store owner returned all of his possessions to him, saying they are not yours, but you must use them to serve others as they come to you. We have been given this camp back. It is not ours - it is God's. What do we do with this gift that we have been given?

The proposal passed unanimously!

Annual Conference Day 3

2009-06-16T17:00:00.002-05:00

This morning and early afternoon we had a speaker, Sally Morgenthaler. She had some good things to say, speaking about passionate worship. Jay was a very thorough note taker on all the sessions: 1, 2, and 3. I appreciate him sharing these with us.

The one thing I will say about the sessions was that toward the end she asked for questions and someone brought up the issue of keeping worship as worship, and not entertainment. She didn't say a lot on this, but I was glad someone brought it up, because it is a big deal. What she did say was that we have to keep our focus on God.

As my computer is now running on reserve battery, my wrap up of Conference will have to come later!

Annual Conference Day 2.1

2009-06-16T14:22:00.003-05:00

I left after the amendments to join the Martin Alumni Choir! It was a very exciting experience. The choir was to sing at the Martin Dinner and then at the Laity service. There were about 45 people, from graduating class of '51 to just starting at MMC this fall. The choir was directed by the choral director at Martin. It was so much fun. Both my mom and mother-in-law sang, and I got to see a lot of people I went to school with who I haven't seen since, along with some of Mark's friends.

Personal joy aside, the choir just sounded really good, which is pretty amazing when you just invite a bunch of people, you don't really know what you're going to get. Martin has been working toward lots of improvement, both physically and in programming. One of the bench marks has been to increase the student body to 1000 students, and they'll cross that number this fall. So, our theme for the Martin Dinner was "O, For a Thousand Tongues to Sing."

There are so many exciting things going on at Martin, and it is always so great to share the excitement of the school with the conference. Check out what's going on, and see how this college is truly modeling what it means to be a church-related institute.

Annual Conference Day 2

2009-06-16T13:55:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I'm a day behind.

Yesterday afternoon was the Constitutional Amendments. It was very interesting to see the conversation. The majority of people who spoke on the first amendment was pro. I know there are a lot of forward thinking people in our conference who aren't "afraid" of what this amendment could mean. And that's the bottom line of what's been going on - those "in the know" who are against this amendment have been using a fear tactic to scare those who aren't really up on the latest news to fear what this could mean. We're scaring people into doing what we want them to do instead of educating them and trusting them to make their own decision. I was so happy to see so many people taking a stand against that fear-tactic and standing up for inclusion.

One pastor brought the example that a 6 year old told him he wanted to join the church, and he said that if this passes, then he would have had to offer membership to this child, instead of telling the child she was too young and needed to wait until she was older. My thought? Umm... what's the problem with a 6 year old becoming a member? We hold this thing called "membership" so close, like an exclusive club, that only those we deem ready are allowed. You have to go through confirmation. You have to go through this class. You're not ready. You have to meet with the pastor. What's the problem with them doing that after they join? You can join! Now! Yes! Come! Our doors are open, not only for you to come and worship, but for you to BELONG! No wonder church feels like a country club...

I really wanted to applaud when one pastor spoke out against this element of fear by saying that we need to stop being afraid of what might happen if we accept everyone, and look at what IS happening - 2/3 of our members aren't keeping their vows as it is. What are we afraid of? More people who don't support the church with their prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness? Or are we afraid that we might have to actual mean what we say: Open Hearts, Open Minds, and Open Doors?

We still don't know the result of our voting, and I'm surprised we haven't heard it yet. We may have to ask for it. I've been keeping an eye on amendment tracker as the rest of the conferences weigh in. It looks like General Conference is quite representative: we're split down the middle. Now, if we can just admit that, it'll be a step in the right direction.

Annual Conference Day 1

2009-06-15T09:02:00.004-05:00

Disclaimer: My two greatest fears in life are being boring and being wrong. And being hypocritical. Okay, three. I fear I may be all of the above in this following post, but I will try my best to not succeed.

Yesterday was... it's really hard to be nice. The conference began with a laity briefing session that discussed the amendments from General Conference. The head of our delegation discussed each of the amendments, though very scattered. He didn't go in order of the amendments, or even in order of the way they had been grouped to make things easier. It was very confusing, and in the end he told us how to vote, saying we should only vote in 2 or 3 of the 32. I was shocked, at first, to hear him telling us how to vote (especially since a lot of people here are first timers and aren't used to the politics). However, toward the end of his time I became outraged when someone asked why, if these are negative things, did they pass General Conference in the first place, and their response was that by the time they were voted on, about 200 people had already left, and the rest of the people there probably didn't understand what they were voting on. What?? I would imagine that the attendants at General Conference who were fully present and completely understood that they were voting for inclusiveness, voting for Jesus' words of spreading the gospel to ALL people, resent that comment.

Laity address today. The lay speaker told us that if we're still angry over the "progress" last year, that we need to "get over it." We're supposed to be reaching children and youth, and yet the conference has alienated this exact group of active people by their decisions last year. And now, we're just supposed to "get over it." Get over being marginalized, get over being ignored, get over being pushed aside and had our work scoffed at, saying it wasn't ever enough. I think he has some other things to say that may be good, but it's really hard to listen to him after that. He made a big point of saying we need people of all ages to be involved, but yet, when we do get involved and are completely overlooked and ignored, we're just supposed to get over it.

Okay... I need to think about some good things. The report for our camping ministries was really good. It was during the laity briefing, so we haven't heard the actual report to conference. The issue has been with one of our two camps that had a criminal incident several years ago, and really, the conference became afraid of the safety of this facility, and got to the point last year of considering closing the camp and selling the property. Fortunately, a committee was formed to look at this camp and discuss what needs to be done with it. This is the report that we heard, and basically they said there's nothing wrong with the camp, it just needs facility improvements and programming support. The problem is not with the facility, it's with us and what we've done with it. He said that one camp does not have to meet all the needs of a conference, and that one can focus on the needs of adults, and the other can focus on the needs of children and youth. It was an encouraging report, to know that this facility for summer camps will hopefully continue, and be improved to serve children and youth better.

Annual Conference

2009-06-14T13:59:00.004-05:00

The time has come again! I'm headed to Annual Conference today. We're cramming it into two and a half days. I appreciate the honoring of our time, but we'll see what happens when we get to Resolutions and GC Amendments. I (averts eyes in shame) haven't read through the amendments yet. I don't know if there will be much debate - we don't debate a lot, with the exception of last year's Conference resolutions. We'll see how this year goes.

As always, it's sure to be an adventure.

Twitter

2009-05-05T09:43:00.003-05:00

Twitter. I think my favorite commercial right now is for some phone or internet company (effective advertising right there, people) that gives stats on what viewers are doing... "47% are leaving the room to refill your drink," "62% are flipping through the channels to see what else is on," "24% are twittering," "38% don't know what that means." It's quite humorous. But seriously, twittering has become quite popular. At PodCamp, this was made known to me quite clearly, as there was a twitter feed running all day that people could tweet to to let others know what was going on - which sessions were good, which were bad, when the beer was being served. And since then, I've encountered it a couple of times: my sister now has a twitter account, and upon attending a district meeting, the Christian Ed director at the church we're, I guess, now attending tweeted his response to the meeting, and shared it with me and the pastor we rode over with after the meeting was over.

But, most interesting about twitter, I think, is this article from Time, and the responses I've read about it here and here. The Time article is about Twittering in church, and how some pastors are supporting this, even setting up a screen with the twitter feed on it to scroll during worship. The responses are both positive and negative - yeah, this is a great idea to get people more involved, and this is distracting, and takes away from the personal connection that is created during worship.

I can see both sides of the issue. On the one hand, I appreciate the GBOD article (first link) in responding intelligently on this topic, giving both positives and negatives, and looking at the deeper issues connected with this. It asks why Twittering would be necessary, and challenges congregations to look at what Twitter would accomplish and ask how and/or why/why not this is already happening in the worship service. The second article simply states four reasons that Twittering should not be used in worship. The author provides four good reasons, but I don't think he really explained himself very well. However, I'm not here to critique his article. I have a few thoughts of my own to offer.

First off, I am impressed that there are churches responding to new technology. There are always some, I know, and so I'm not surprised, but pleased that the church isn't all overlooking new ways to connect and reach people. The church, as a whole, is often very behind the times in terms of contemporary issues, so it's good to see some trying to be involved in what's going on in the world. Being in the world, but not of. I also think some of the critics are a little harsh - give them a break! At least they're trying. It's like Amazon's Kindle... the first one, I'm sure, sucked. There were good things about it, but bad things, too, but at least it was out there, and it could be improved on from that point. Twittering in church, if it's ever going to happen, has to start somewhere. We're just at the beginning.

On the other side, however, I completely agree with the GBOD's article and the four points in the other blog about why this is a bad idea - namely, taking away focus on what's going on in worship, and removing that personal connection. Twittering is supposed to help people connect when they are not together. When you're together, talk to one another. Connect face to face. And, also, worship is supposed to be a stepping out of your daily life to renew. If you twitter and tweet all week, isn't a break needed?

The best thing I think from the original article was its discussion of what's happening at Next Level, a church in North Carolina. The article cites that this church is not monitoring or displaying the twitter conversation, but isn't discouraging it from happening. I think this might be the way to go - people who want to be involved in it can be, and it won't distract others. Isn't that what twitter is in the first place? It's there to be there for those who want to use it, and if you want a break, or don't understand it, or are distracted by it, you just don't have to be involved.

Finally, I think churches considering this need to ask a very important question: why do we worship? I think we get so involved in wanting to bring more people in to worship, into membership in our community, that we forget the real reason we're there. We're there to worship God. We're not there for ourselves. Worship is an act for God's glory. We're not even really there to "get something out of it." Bible study, Wednesday night dinners, covenant groups, and all the other activities of the church are there for us to learn and grow and serve. But Sunday morning worship (or whenever you worship) is specifically about honoring God. So, as we look at making worship purposeful, we have to remember what the real purpose is.

Earnest...

2009-05-04T11:11:00.006-05:00

Okay, so I know the show was, what, two months ago? But, finally, here are some pictures from my theatrical re-debut in The Importance of Being Earnest!

Here's the whole cast...

And my favorite scene... after spending an afternoon despising one another because we thought we were engaged to the same man, we realize we've been hoodwinked, and become immediate friends! "My poor, wounded Cecily!"

It was a great show, lots of fun. I am so glad I did it, not only because I got to be involved in theatre again, but I got to know some great college students.

And it's only just the beginning! I've been cast as Miranda in the upcoming production of The Tempest. I'm so excited!

New Beginnings

2009-03-24T09:03:00.003-05:00

I, in essence, have a new computer. Not by choice. My hard drive crashed. And I lost pretty much everything I've done in the past year, which, luckily, wasn't much. I haven't been very productive in my personal life. But, most importantly, I've lost my pictures, and I've lost all my notes from Podcamp. So, that second wrap up you were all holding your breath for? Breathe now - it's not coming.

I did manage to hold on to my music, thanks to a handy little program called PodWorks. But all my pictures from the past year, including my "week in the life of..." pictures, are gone. (I knew I shouldn't have procrastinated in scrapbooking those!)

As frustrating as it is, I really am okay with it. Maybe it's because I didn't lose a lot of stuff. But it's kinda nice having a "brand new" computer. A fresh start. And, my hubby bought me a cute little green and black external hard drive to back things up on.

Isn't it pretty? And oh so functional! It even comes with it's own carrying case. Ah, the little things that make me smile...

Starting to Wrap Up...

2009-03-07T15:23:00.003-06:00

I'm reaching information overload. Either that, or these last few sessions aren't that interesting.

I really got a lot out of 2 sessions today, Gavin's (the session I came for) and Storytelling for Gen X&Y.

I'll start with Storytelling... it was a really good session with a guy from Ethos 3, a company that strives to help people with presentations. His session was about presenting to and connecting with Gen Xers and Yers. I am a Gen Y, my hubby and sis Gen Xers, and I was intrigued by this session because I'm really into generational theory. (I had one or two class sessions on it in college, and it really spoke to me. Not quite sure what to do with it yet, but it's on the back burner.) But, this session he talked about how you have to know the culture of the people you're trying to reach, so he talked about his "cultural DNA" - all the things he grew up in/with that make him who he is today (nurture, for the nature vs. nurture fight). And then he gave some guidelines on creating a presentation. Overall, it was very interesting and gave some really good tips on creating presentations for this generation, including:

Get back to basics and leave ego at the door
Have Stellar content (craft a story), design it, deliver it
Know your audience (Myer’s Briggs, Multiple Intelligences)
Avoid templates
Know where you’re going, know what’s next
move quickly, keep slides moving - 3 sentences, then move to next scene - say main points, then move on
Cut 30% of fat of presentation before you give it

Some good ideas.

Okay, I'm on the move. I'll post about Spirituality and Social Networking later!

PodCamp 2009

2009-03-07T09:46:00.003-06:00

I'm taking another step into the "techy" world and attending PodCamp 2009. I'm very excited about some of the sessions, especially the one being led by Gavin on Spirituality and Social Media. There are some others, too, mostly about social networking, so it should be an interesting.

I'm thinking I'm slightly out of the loop when it comes to all of this stuff. I don't twitter, I don't podcast... about all I do is facebook and blog, and not even that all that often! But I'm excited to hear some new information, hopefully learn some new things that I might be interested in getting more involved in.

25 Things and Other Fun Stuff

2009-02-19T11:36:00.003-06:00

I've got a few links for you... we'll get there.

If you're on Facebook, you've no doubtedly seen the "25 Random Things About Me" notes that have been flying around, amongst the others that have come out of it. As the hubby states, "this is so myspace." And it is, but we all indulge, at least to a point. I did succumb to peer pressure and posted my own 25 things. I tried to combine sarcastic humor with quiet truth. That's always my goal, and I feel certain I almost always fall short.

Anywho, as a result (of the rampant 25 Random Things posts, not my post in particular), the blog for the Wittenburg Door (a great satirical website I have discovered as a result of this blog post I'm about to talk about) has posted "25 Random Things About God." It is wonderful. Go read it and laugh.

In searching around this site (Wittenburg Door) I discovered two other gems in the world of Biblical humor. Noah's Blog and God's Creation Blog. Priceless.

I love thinking of God and Jesus and other biblical figures as actually human, like me. It makes them relatable. I don't relate to the stuffy, proper, eloquent Father-figure that's always looking down his nose at you judging your actions to see if they are socially correct. I'm sure God can do that, if God wants to. But I don't think He does.

Hence, number 11 on my list of 25 Random Things: "I believe Jesus laughed. A lot. I believe he fell in love. I believe he made his mother worry. And I believe that he didn't come to earth intending to die like he did. I believe that if we could have listened to what he was really saying, he may have not had to die. I believe it could have ended differently. I believe it can always end differently."

Hey, I had to add my own stuff in there somewhere. It being my blog and all.

Brothers and Sisters

2009-02-18T12:07:00.002-06:00

In the midst of the party excitement, my family had some sad news to digest. My father's youngest sister, Martha, passed away last week. She was 52, and died of a massive stroke. It was very unexpected.

My father's family is not that large. There are about 10 of us now. Stark contrast to my mom's family, and even more so to my husband's family.

As a result of the small family, my sister and I felt it would be really good if we could go to the service. We weren't exactly close to this aunt, but wanted to be there for our cousins and dad. And since there are so few of us on that side, we knew our presence would be missed.

So we, with the wonderfully loving husband in tow, drove the five hours to her service Monday, and then turned around and drove the five hours back. It was a long day, but I'm very glad we went, to be there for our family, if not only for the words my father spoke at the service.

My father, the pastor, amazes me. How he is able to put on his preacher face and lead in the midst of grief I will never understand. He led the whole service, which was beautiful. And when the time came for the sermon/homily/honoring of the one who had passed, his words were peaceful and comforting, and quite beautiful.

He talked about brothers and sisters. And how the relationship between and among siblings is like no other. He used two quotes that he sent to us after the service, and me being a quote person, I latched on to them quickly:

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each others' hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." –Clara Ortega

"Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk." –Susan Scarf Merrell

As I was listening to him, I got to thinking about my sister and our relationship, and how we travel through life sharing something with our siblings that we can't share with anyone else in the same way. Sure, our parents were there for our childhoods, and probably remember it better than we do. But that shared experience of living through growing up together not only affects who we are and how we see each other, but how we relate to one another once the growing up is done.

It has been a hard time for my family. It's one thing to bury your parents, you expect to do that sometime in your life. And the grief of burying a child must be on an entirely different plane. But the experience of burying a sibling is one I have never much contemplated before.

The words he added at the end of the service: "Go with God into the dawn of that new day and wait for us—we are on our way."

Surprise!

2009-02-18T12:00:00.002-06:00

Well, I actually pulled it off! My 'rents-in-law and I have been planning a surprise party for dear sweet hubby for about 2 months now. We did a movie theme, to go along with his current occupation and his general love for cinema. His mom made two wonderful cakes - a clapboard, and a movie reel. And our friends from a singing group we used to be a part of helped out with all the food. I made a slide show of pictures of him (I love iPhoto!). We had about 60 people in attendance, which was a great turn out! I was so excited, and very appreciative of everyone who helped out and attended.

And the best part? He was completely surprised! We had told him that he was needed to play dinner music for a birthday party, and he even had his stack of music with him as he came in. He had no idea! I was pretty much resigned to the idea that he would figure it out at some point, or at least get suspicious, but he never did. I was very pleased with our success. The downside is that he's sworn to never believe anything his mom or I tell him ever again. Eh, I think it was worth it!

I'm so excited...

2009-02-10T10:14:00.006-06:00

The tag line gives me chills...

Kinda like the poster for HP4 did...

Thanks, mugglenet!

What Office Supply Am I?

2009-02-09T00:12:00.002-06:00

My friend over at gavoweb tipped me off to this quiz. And, since I'm battling insomnia at the current moment, what better way to kill time than take an innocent online quiz?

You Are a Red Pen

You have an eagle eye for detail, and this often means you end up finding mistakes in people's work.

You may seem quick to criticize or correct, but you think accuracy and truth is important.

You like to be involved in every project. You feel like you put the polishing touch on things.

You would make a good editor, detective, or accountant. When facts matter, you're the person to call on.

What Office Supply Are You?

I think it's quite interesting that, of all the office supplies out there, I am a red pen. In college, my mentor loved using a red pen. He always found fault in something. He'd write all over tests and papers with that red pen, marking corrections and adding in what we left out. The thing was, it wasn't a bad thing, he was probably the best teacher I had, and we always joked with him about his inability to give a perfect score, no matter how much my classmates and I put into our work. He inspired us to always do better.

I digress. We did joke a lot about that red pen, I think we even bought him a box of red pens upon our graduation, or at least talked about it. At one point we tried to tell him that using red was psychologically damaging to students, and he should use blue or green, as it would be more peaceful, and uplifting to his students. He would have none of it!

And now, according to this silly little online quiz, I'm a red pen. At first, I almost laughed out loud. Seriously? But as I think about it, if this is saying I'm in any way similar to this loved professor, I'm more than okay with that.

Life is better with a little drama in it.

2009-01-22T13:42:00.004-06:00

[title quote from Scott Nilsson]

I've jokingly said that my quarter-life crisis and my biological clock are at war. And neither side has been gaining much ground for the past several years. So many people I know are having babies, or are pregnant, or are trying, or whatever. It makes me look longingly at those cute bundles of joy and want one of my own. It also reminds me that my ever-so wonderful plan to have 3 kids, one when I'm 25, one when I'm 27, and one when I'm 29 is almost foiled. I have 9 days to get pregnant if that plan is to be set in motion.

Not gonna happen. Okay, maybe. I'm not one to say never. But, highly unlikely.

What is my quarter-life crisis, you ask? What is anyone's quarter-life crisis? "What am I DOING with my life?" My deep down goal of working in theatre has taken the back burner as I play the rat race at the 9-5 gig. It's been almost 3 years since I've been on a stage.

But no more. I've auditioned for a play, and I'm going to do it! I've heard, unofficially, that I've been cast as one of the leads!

I didn't realize how much I really missed it. I knew that I love theatre, and that I missed it a lot, but when I got onto that stage last night to audition, I felt at home. I was excited getting into the characters' heads. I was thrilled when the audience laughed. I felt like I was doing something right—even in the middle of completely losing my place and having to stop the whole scene to find it again. No, this doesn't pay. No, it doesn't mean I can quit my day job. But it's a step. My quarter-life crisis is taking its step into first place. I've got great plans for my quarter-life crisis.

And if my biological clock decides to rise to the challenge, maybe my wonderful husband will watch the kids while I have rehearsal!

Forgiveness

2009-01-08T13:29:00.003-06:00

I'm a quote person. I like to collect quotes. I've even found a useful purpose for my 500 business cards that I never use - I've been writing quotes on the back of them, and keeping them to read every now and then. I like funny quotes that only make sense in context, and take me back to a memory, or poignant quotes that make you think. And I get hung on quotes, too. I'll find one I like and live with it for awhile. I was living with this one from Mary Anne Radmacher: "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow."'

I recently read both The Shack and the Kite Runner. Both good books, interesting theology in the first, though not as life shattering to me as to others, I suppose. I agreed with most of it already. The Kite Runner, however was a challenging story. It was good, but hard to live with. However, I think I learned more about forgiveness from the Kite Runner than I did from the Shack, simply because of one quote from the Kite Runner. The narrator, Amir, is talking about his father, with whom his relationship was eternally strained. He says:

"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."

My adaptability strength enables me to move on quickly from emotional injuries. I find it hard, even, to hold a grudge when someone has wronged me. But I'm realizing that I much more easily hold a grudge against people who indirectly hurt me - those who hurt someone close to me, and cause me pain through association. Namely, an experience my mother had, which I haven't talked about here, and the Tennessee Conference's most recent experience with their Children and Youth coordinators. Neither of these directly affected me or my daily routine. But they affected people I love, and I find that I have a hard time letting go of that anger and resentment, even years later.

So, this new quote has caught my soul. I'm going to live with it for awhile. We've studied forgiveness twice in Sunday school, and both times, I think we were looking for the fanfare. What makes it come? What starts the parade? But I think there is truth here: "pain... slipping away unannounced." And when we try to hold on to that pain, it's hard for us to even acknowledge when it's gone.

One Little Word

2009-01-01T23:59:00.005-06:00

Check out this post.

I'm a word person. Probably why I try to blog. I used to have a journal...still do, kinda. But I believe in the power of words. The written word, the spoken word.

I was enticed into choosing a word last year. My word was {content}. I was struggling with the present. So many people, I think, have trouble focusing on the present, always wanting to live in the past. For me, I have trouble with the future. I completely understand that the past is past, and while we can learn from it, there's not much we can do about it. I don't hold a grudge...it's almost (almost) impossible for me to do that. I have a really bad memory. The past is...past. But I struggle with living in the future. I have plans, dreams, and I spend way too much time focusing on how I want things to turn out or what I want to happen.

So, for 2008, I thought content would be a good word for me. An attempt to focus on the present, being content with where I was and what I was doing. I was feeling in a rut - I wasn't too pleased with lots of things in our life, and kept looking for things to change. And I realized that I really needed to stop and just be where I was at the time, and quit trying to change things or figure out what God had in store for our future.

So content it was. I even bought a little 5x7 artist's canvas to paint my word on and keep in my office. Here's what I did with it:

Haha...yeah, it didn't even come out of the package. Good thing, I guess, 'cuz now I can use it for this year's word!

And what might this year's word be? I'm still mulling it over slightly. I did some brainstorming:

I'm thinking that I still need something that coveys the present. While I lived with {content} I never really did anything with it. But I think I'm past that word. So many things changed last year, and though I didn't do anything creative with that word, I really feel like I found contentedness.

So, this year, I'm thinking something along the lines of {listen} or {silent}. Or maybe both. I love how those two words are made up of the same letters. They are so different, yet so related. And I feel like this is a year to listen. To be silent and take in what's going on around me. I often speak too soon, and don't have the patience to understand before responding. And I've always been enthralled by their connectedness (input...). Can my one little word actually be two? I think it's my word(s) and I can choose whatever I want!

Are you choosing a word? Even if you don't do anything with it...what one little word can make a difference in your life this year?

Once Upon a Win

2008-12-28T13:34:00.003-06:00

Our friends over at LOL world (I Can Has Cheezburger and I Has a Hotdog, two sites that bring me much joy) have created a new branch to their site: Once Upon A Win. This great site is summed up with its tagline: A Visual Collection of Epic Wins from the Past. A contrast to their Fail Blog, which chronicles the failures and mishaps of our current world, Once Upon a Win reminds you of the greater parts of childhood. Take some time to peruse it's relatively short 9 pages (compared to the other lol sites which pages at the bottom reach to infinity and beyond) to experience a wonderful blast into the past. Page three currently includes a YouTube video of an entire game of Oregon Trail. Man, I miss fourth grade.

Happy Anniversary

2008-12-28T00:11:00.009-06:00

Today was my and Mark's 5th Anniversary. Five years of marriage! It sure doesn't seem like it's been that long. We usually do anniversary gifts instead of Christmas gifts, our anniversary being 2 days after Christmas. But this year, with moving and a new job, we didn't even make it to the anniversary gifts. Plus, our anniversary being a Saturday, Mark had to work two movies today to top things off.

So, I decided to surprise him with a homemade dinner. I made a lasagna from a recipe I found on allrecipes.com. I started last night while Mark was at the movie by making the sauce, and let it sit overnight. Then when he left today, I completed the masterpiece, and topped it off with a Caesar salad, bread with EVOO (thanks, Rachael Ray), and a bottle of wine from the local liquor store - the only bottle of Italian wine I could find that wasn't the huge Maccaroni Grill bottle.

I think it turned out great!

Of course, what would a dinner at our home be without a pitiful-eyed dog begging for a share? The rule has become he has to eat his own dinner before he can have any of ours. He's catching on slowly...we usually convince him to finish just in time to have a few of the left overs. Tonight, he was treated to some bread, dipped in the leftover cheese and sauce from our plates!

Speaking of the dog, this would be the same dog who, while we went to the movie tonight, decided to eat Mark's Symphony bar that he (Mark) received as a Christmas present. 6 oz. of chocolate later, we're calling the emergency vet, wondering what to do. According to the after hours vet ER, he may develop symptoms in 12-24 hours that would include vomiting and diarrhea. If he develops muscle spasms or tremors, then we're to take him to the ER. So, on my anniversary, instead of snuggling up with my hubby for a good night's sleep, I'm up with my dog, paranoid that he's going to react. Thanks, Brisoce. Happy anniversary to me.

Merry Christmas Eve!

2008-12-24T11:13:00.002-06:00

It's 11:14 on Christmas Eve, and I'm cuddled up in my pajamas in my bed listening to Casey Kasem's Top 60 Christmas Songs Countdown on the radio. It's taking me back to my childhood, when we'd listen to his Top 40 each week on the radio in the car after church. We always had to get out of church and through lunch at least in enough time to hear the top ten.

Our Christmas Eve plans have been postponed. We were supposed to go to hubby's family today and celebrate with them, but his mom is sick. No fun being sick on Christmas! So we decided to just stay home, and not even go into town. Mark, himself, is fighting off a cold, so being lazy is a great idea right now.

With so many family, and this year, with so many family spread so far out, we had to plan our Christmas celebrations over the whole week, pretty much. Monday-Tuesday was my family, Wednesday-Thursday was Mark's family, and Thursday afternoon is Mark's extended family. Of course with sickness, that hasn't exactly panned out, but where as we were looking at a solid week of driving to all of these places, we now have 2 days of true vacation in the midst of the holidays.

We spent Christmas yesterday with my family, and what a Christmas it was! Our big present was new cookware - Caphlon! It's so awesome. There are eight different size pots - two skillets, 3 sauce pans, and a 6 quart. Plus, we got a dutch oven that came with the set as a freebie. It's beautiful. We have pretty good cookware right now, it was a wedding present, and has held up well for a Walmart registry item. But I'm excited about having some really good quality stuff to use in the kitchen. Now, if I can just learn how to cook a meal without messing up something...

Another present was The Tales of Beetle the Bard! I hadn't really been all that anxious to read it, for some reason. As obsessed with Harry Potter as I am, you'd think I'd have been in line, but just wasn't. But when we were shopping earlier this week, we passed a bookstore, and I saw it out on a display, and thought, I really hope someone gets me one of those for Christmas. So I was very excited to find it wrapped under the tree.

I am a little bummed that we're not doing more Christmas today. I'm really excited about some of the gifts we got Mark's family - especially the kids. Mark did a great job this year shopping for our soon-to-be niece and nephew, and our baby niece. I was so impressed! I can't wait to share our gifts with them. Maybe we'll be able to pick up our celebrations later this week.

I hope your Christmas is going well! Remember to celebrate, and not rush. Yeah...'cuz I'm so good at that.

Update on our lives

2008-12-19T21:55:00.002-06:00

As many of you know, Mark and I have moved! Mark is working as the Associate Director for Choral Programming at the college in town. He is also serving as the Director of movie theatre on campus for his first year here. His schedule has been very busy this holiday season with choir concerts and movies. The transition has been good, so far. We are blessed with all of the pieces having fallen into place: I was approved to work from home three days a week. We are renting a house from some friends, which is a great situation for both us and them. Briscoe is adjusting nicely, enjoying the smells and sounds of a new place to live! As I said, all of the pieces have fallen into place, with the exception of one: we're still looking for someone to buy our house! All we want for Christmas... maybe Santa will pull through for us!

I'm hoping to post more here, as I am hoping to have more visitors. Maybe that can be my New Year's Resolution, instead of losing weight...always a silly idea!

Fun Stuff

2008-12-17T12:02:00.002-06:00

I've been so busy lately, I haven't even had time to think about updating on my life. I guess I should do that... but until I get the chance, have fun with this snowflake site that my sister showed me. So much fun!

Proof

2008-11-25T19:59:00.002-06:00

We saw an amazing play Sunday night! The theatre group here on campus did Proof, a drama about family relationships. Not only was the play itself really well written, the actors did a great job. I was very proud of my fellow thespians.

The play is about a girl who has been taking care of her mentally ill father for several years. He was a mathematician, a genius, well known in the field. The play revolves around her questions as to just how much like her father she is - she's also a brilliant mathematician, but left school to care for him. She worries that she is going crazy, as well. It's an ensemble cast - the girl, her father, her sister, and an old student of her father's. The exploration of family dynamics is so intriguing, and very compelling. And the way the scenes are juxtaposed together, it keeps you guessing about her sanity the entire play.

The actors did a fantastic job, too. I got so pulled into their world. The way they balanced the humor with the drama was perfect. You could truly see their struggles, and how they dealt with them through humor, as anyone does. It was very natural, just very well done.

I love theatre. I'm so excited to be back here, hoping I get the opportunity to act again sometime soon. I love that the group here does plays that affect you - not just the "popular" plays. It's truly an intellectual experience, always challenging some part of life.

Twilight: The Movie

2008-11-22T20:43:00.001-06:00

I went to see Twilight last night. My sister took me as my birthday present. I took her to see Sex and the City for hers, so it was a good trade off. And it enables us to spend time together, which is fun, ‘cuz we don’t do a whole lot together, just the two of us.

Note, I'm really talking about the movie ahead. Spoilers for the movie (and the book, too, I guess) will follow.

It was okay. It just wasn’t...realistic. And I know, vampires, not realistic, but that’s the whole idea of a movie. It makes you think that it’s real. And this one just didn’t do it for me. The special effects were almost too much. Special effects are supposed to look like they could actually happen. They help you suspend belief, but these just looked like special effects.

The whole movie was angsty teen. I thought the books had a lot of lightness and humor, and while a lot of the lines in the movie were funny, they were all said with a dark, ominous feeling, like at any moment the world’s going to come crashing down. The actors just couldn't lighten up and enjoy their own humor. They really were funny!

The movie did follow the story of the book very closely, quoting it often, but they left out some of the most important parts, to me. All of the questions and details about being a vampire were mentioned in passing, but never really discussed, as they were in the book, as they deserved. And the whole hotel scene...that’s where Bella and Alice’s relationship was really established and developed, and it was completely left out. I think they could have spent a lot more time on her developing relationship with the Cullens, and left out a lot of the process of her finding out what they are.

There were good parts, great parts, actually. I LOVE Charlie! I think he was amazing. The actor did a great job with that character, and the things they did with his character in terms of lines and direction were a perfect representation of what I think of when I think Charlie.

And I really liked Rosalie, too. I didn't really have a strong opinion about Rosalie from the books, one way or the other, but I really liked hating her in the movie. The actor just seemed to convey a lot of Rosalie's emotions in her few lines and just through her visual looks.

I am glad I saw it, and I will see the others. (Summit announced today that they're moving forward with New Moon.) Maybe it’ll be like Harry Potter - the movies only got better. And I do still love the story. It’s a love story at its heart. And a good one at that.

Twilight is for Lovers

2008-11-14T14:42:00.004-06:00

For my birthday, I received the first three books in the Twilight series. I read the books about 2 months ago, having checked the first three out from my sister's library. But when it came time to read the fourth, I was 118 on the waiting list at the public library, and somewhere around 20 at my sister's library. I wasn't waiting. So I bought it. In hardback, of course, because that's the only way it's available. And, loving the series so much, I knew I had to have the first three. In hardback. (See strengths at right, under Input for further explanation.)

So, I was very excited when my birthday present consisted of the first three Twilight books, beautiful and black, along with the first four Harry Potter books (in hardback), completing both of these collections for me. Yea!

And now, Mark and I are reading Twilight together. It's been fun reading it with someone who hasn't read them, because he has so many questions that I didn't allow myself to ask - I devoured all four books within about a week. But reading them aloud to one another, we have to take time, and we can only read when we're both present, which is more difficult now that we're working in different cities.

And every time he asks a question, my response is "that's a good question." Really because they are, and because if I were to answer them, they would give away something to come, because he does ask appropriate questions to the story. Some of his questions:

If Edward bites Bella, will it kill her?
Has Edward ever killed anyone?
How do you become a vampire?
Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
Does Edward's family hate Bella?

See? All very good questions. And I can't wait to read him the answers.

Twilight is truly for lovers, because when I first read them, it took me back to the early stages of our relationship, when everything was new and exciting. And it made me fall in love with him all over again. It's fun, reading them together now, because we get to fall in love with each other, all over again, again.

Sorry for the extremely personal post. Maybe all you married/dating people out there can do the same! And it doesn't have to be Twilight...just find a good love story, and read it together. It does wonders for your heart.

Halloween

2008-11-07T15:31:00.008-06:00

I really appreciate the person who took this picture of me on Halloween.

And in response, I offer this from lolcatz:

All Dogs Go To Heaven

2008-10-30T09:41:00.012-05:00

Got this in an e-mail. According to the forward, these two churches are across the street from one another. I have a feeling it's generated, but still, it brings a smile to my face. Enjoy!

Searching For God Knows What

2008-10-21T13:14:00.002-05:00

In my effort to occupy my time, I've checked out a bunch of books from the library and borrowed several from a friend. The first one I'm reading is Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. It's been on my to-read list for awhile. I read Blue Like Jazz, also by Miller, several years ago, and liked it. I also saw a video a few weeks ago of Donald Miller preaching, and it was really good. He has a great sense of humor, and a realistic approach to, well, reality. I'm two chapters in, though, and while I think a lot of what he's saying is good, I'm struggling with some of it, which, I guess, is probably a good thing. I mean, I'm sure Donald Miller wouldn't want anyone to read his book and agree with everything he says.

So... one bone to pick with him. In the first chapter, he's talking about formulas, and how many people approach God with a formula in mind: do this, and this will happen. Pray for this, and this will happen. Give money to the church and this will happen. I'm with him 100% that this is the case, and that this is not the way to approach God. God is relational, and that's his whole point, that we have to be in relationship with God. God is not a snack machine, being one of my favorite parallels. We don't just put in our money, type in A2 and get our goods.

But one of the examples Miller uses is Harry Potter. In a brief example, he talks about a CSPAN show he was watching, where a literary critic was talking about Harry Potter, and wondering why it's so popular. The critic says it's "wish fulfillment." "He said the lead character in the book could wave a wand and make things happen, and this is one of the primary fantasies of the human heart." Miller agrees.

Okay, so he's making a bigger point here than why people like Harry Potter. But I feel I must make a point as to why people like Harry Potter, with the help of this article. Rather than using Harry Potter as an example of what people are wishing for that they shouldn't be wishing for, Harry Potter is an example of what we should be working toward: relationships. I believe that, within the backdrop of a magical world, JK Rowling has created a parallel universe in which people fight for what's right and wrong, and struggle to create and sustain deep, meaningful relationships that alter your existence. Sure, Harry's got a wand, and all he has to do is point it at the light and say "lumos" and there's light. But does that make everything easy? No one, and I repeat no one, could have created seven books about getting what you want that easy.

No, I think Harry Potter is the perfect example of what Donald Miller is striving to share in the first chapter of this book. Relationships are the key. Sure, in Harry's world, just as in ours, there are formulas to get some of the things you want. Think back to tenth grade Chemistry. Or just walk in your kitchen and look at a recipe. But when it comes to the truly important things in life, those that shape us as human beings, there's no formula to create that. And throughout the Harry Potter series, this is exactly what Harry learns. He continually tries to go it alone, even to the last fight, only to discover time and again that not only can he not do it alone, he doesn't really want to. He needs his friends. We need God. And our friends, too, of course.

A New Norm

2008-10-21T10:41:00.003-05:00

So, a new norm is being formed in my life. Mark started his new job yesterday! I think it went well, but it was very hectic. He was very tired when he got home. Hopefully, though, he'll settle into this new routine and won't be as tired.

We're getting up at the same time, which is nice. What's especially nice for me is that now Mark gets in the shower first! I love this. It's the little things. I like being able to wake up and know that life is going on around me before actually getting out of bed. I had intentions to stay in bed until he was out of the shower this morning, but I decided to go ahead and get up and eat breakfast. I like not being the first one up. I feel so lonely getting up first... like I'm missing out on something. (Sleep! I feel like I'm missing out on sleep!)

So my new norm: driving to work alone, listening to my I-Pod on the way. (I feel like Bella Swan! haha...) I'm driving our "other" car, because our "best" car gets better gas mileage, so the weary traveler gets that one. The "other" car only has one CD holder (travesty!) and changing CDs while driving down the road isn't the safest thing. Okay, really, choosing which CD to put in next is what's not safe. I'm in a "fed up with the media" phase, and it seems every time I turn on the radio all I hear is commercials. And NPR is doing their fall campaign this week, and I quickly get sick of them asking for money.

My other new norm: lunch conundrum. For the past year, Mark and I have eaten lunch together every day. So, I miss him. Yesterday I got to eat lunch with Nikki, a friend from college (Martin, actually) who recently started working at the same place I work. That was really fun, getting to catch up and do some serious girl-talk. I'm considering trying to work out over lunch, like I used to do before Mark was close enough to eat lunch with. I need to desperately, as well as reign back in my appetite.

My evenings are quieter, as Mark doesn't get home until late now that he's commuting. Last night I had dinner ready. I was planning to just read for the few hours between me getting home and him getting home, but I ended up downloading a bunch of music from I-Tunes and playing it while I made dinner. Reading is on my schedule for tonight, though, as I have four books from the library, and four other books from a friend, and 3 DVDs traveling to my local library just for me! Hey, we packed all of our books, so I'm having to be creative in acquiring reading material. It is kinda sad that I'm really just now getting the hang of the library thing, just to leave.

We are putting our house on the market sometime this week, probably tomorrow or Thursday, depending on when the realtor gets the paperwork together, I guess. I have to say, it's in really good shape. We did a lot of work getting it ready, and so when I do get home, I can relax, and not feel stressed about having to do this or that, and can have no guilt in playing on I-Tunes or reading for hours on end.

So many news, and so many of them, I'm sure, won't be lasting. In my ever-changing world right now, I don't even really know where I'll be living from one day to the next. Okay, probably not that volatile. But still, changing. And the norms I establish today will be changed and re-formed tomorrow! What's going to be weird, I feel, is not going to church on Wednesday night... it's been years since I haven't done that! Times, they are a changin'!

Change the Conversation: Blog Action Day

2008-10-15T15:49:00.005-05:00

I'm so far behind the times, that it's already 3:45 my time and I'm just getting clued into this. Fairly appropriate for my discussion...

It's Blog Action Day. Don't know much about it, other than that it's an organization that chooses a topic and encourages bloggers around the world to blog about it on one specific day. For 2008, that day is today, and the topic is poverty.

I went to the website and saw the video. Very intriguing, and moving. It is amazing to think about the power that bloggers have. I often remove myself from that group, because I'm sure I have a small following, if any at all, and I never really say anything of much interest, mostly just ramblings about my affluent life. I'm not an activist. I'm not looking to change the world. I read other's blogs and think, man it would be cool for me to say something that really affected others, but mostly I'm just trying to say something that will affect myself.

And so, as I'm watching this video, I'm thinking, wow, this is really cool, people blogging about poverty. I should blog about poverty. But what in the world do I know about poverty? I don't advocate change anywhere. I don't volunteer or serve in missions anywhere. I don't do much of anything.

But I know there are others out there who are like me. (Please? Pretty please tell me I'm not alone!) I "dabble" in advocacy, sending an e-mail to a senator for a random cause that catches my eye, sending some money to a cause, usually around Christmas, but I'm by no means passionate about it. I'm much more passionate about what we can learn from Harry Potter, or being obsessed with the latest Twilight news, or having my head stuck in a book.

So, I'm blogging for those of us who haven't thrown ourselves into changing the world, because we're too busy trying to change ourselves, or figure out who we are so we can know if it needs to be changed. I admire others who so passionately devote themselves to a cause and support it whole-heartedly with everything they have. I want to be one of those people when I grow up, and I struggle to not remind myself that I'm already grown up, and I need to get a move-on.

And I'm blogging because I have to remind myself that I can do what I can do. I can give money, even if it's just at Christmas. I can e-mail a Senator when I think about it, even if it's not once a day, or once a week, or even once a year. I can blog about poverty, and maybe someone who stumbles across my blog will think twice in the next few months before buying a random present for a distant friend, and instead will give the gift of food to a family in that friend's name. I'm blogging to help change the conversation, because that IS something I can do, even if not the most, and even if not the best.

And however small my offering, I can only trust that God will accept it and be pleased.

Moving On...

2008-10-06T09:12:00.002-05:00

Okay, so it's time. The news.

Most of you who read this probably know it by now. And those who don't are readers I've picked up somewhere along the way, and so this "big" news probably won't affect you very much, b/c I'll still be blogging...

This is an adaptation of the letter we sent to family and friends...

As many of you know, our life for the last few years has been bitter-sweet. While our lives outside of work have been wonderfully filled with family, friends, and church activities, our work careers have lacked a certain amount of satisfaction. So, when we learned of a wonderful job opportunity for Mark, we knew we had to pursue it.

Mark has been offered and has accepted the position of Assistant Choir Director and Instructor of Music at our alma matter! He will begin work there on Monday, October 20.

I'll continue in my work for the time being. We're putting our house on the market, and when it sells, we'll be looking for a more permanent place in our new/old home!

We hate to leave, but this is a wonderful opportunity for Mark, as he will be able to use his gifts and talents doing what he has worked toward doing his entire adult life in a location that we know we will enjoy. We hope that you can share our joy at this exciting change in our lives!

So...that's it! We're moving! I am so excited! Yes, very sad to be leaving our church family, not to mention our real family. It's going to be very hard. But we both feel this is where we need to be. Here's to the future...a future with real hope!

Classic

2008-10-06T09:02:00.002-05:00

I don't get much into politics. I watch a little...I watched most of the VP debate at my 'rents house last week. I listen to NPR. I kinda keep up with what's going on. But I don't spend hours researching and discussing. I vote, most of the time, but that's about as involved as I get.

So everything going on in the world over the past few weeks has kinda been in the back of my mind, not in the front. I'm paying attention, but not obsessing. That's why I haven't really said anything in my blog about it. But I came across this in my google reader this morning, and it's just too classic to not mention. I ran across this guy's blog through a friend of mine, Gavin. He does religious cartoons about the life and adventures of Jesus. Read more about him here. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

A Week In the Life Of...Part 2

2008-10-02T09:53:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I really have been taking pictures. But my husband took my computer with him on a work trip, so no posting them. And I can't post my notes, because I haven't been taking any...

So, instead of posting my thoughts and pictures through the week, I think I'll just post the finished products. However, it'll probably be awhile before I get to scrapbooking because I have to pack up all my scrapbooking stuff. And I have to pack up all my scrapbooking stuff because...well, that's a post for another time. Maybe this afternoon. Maybe tomorrow. But I want to do it justice.

Just suffice it to say I am doing the project. Really. And you shall one day see the fruits of my labor. But, by that point, I'll probably need to do it again, because everything will have changed...

List 'o Books

2008-09-28T00:00:00.002-05:00

My sister posted a blog about the top 100 books, and noted that studies show the average american adult has only read 6 of them. I don't know where she got the list, and she doesn't know where the list came from. Seeing as The DaVinci Code and Bridgett Jones' Diary are both on here, plus the fact that several books are listed twice - singularly and as a part of a set (i.e. Chronicles of Narnia and Lion, Witch and Wardrobe), and the fact that no Graham Greene are listed, I'm a bit skeptical at holding much stock in this list, but being an avid book lover, and having a number one strength of input (see left), I'm up for a list about books!

Oh..and I've read 28 of the 100 listed, counting the combos as one, not individually (I've read all 7 Harry Potter books, thank you very much!)

The Rules:
1) Look at the list and put one * by those you have read.
2) Put a % by those you intend to read.
3) Put two ** by the books you LOVE.
4) Put # by the books you HATE.
5) Put ! by ones that you have seen in movie form
6) My rule: Put $ next to ones you've seen on stage.
6) Post. (Don't forget to tag me.)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen *
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling **
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee *
6 The Bible **
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte *
8 1984 - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare *$ (read most)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien *
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliott
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell !
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald **
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky *
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck **
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll !
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame *
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia- CS Lewis *
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis *!
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the pooh - AA Milne **
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell *
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown *
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery *
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen *
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens **
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley*
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker !
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett *!
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath *
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens !$
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker *
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White *!
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom !
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad *#
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas !
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare *!$
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl *!
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo !$

A Week In The Life Of...

2008-09-26T10:24:00.002-05:00

I follow Ali Edward's blog. She's a professional scrapbooker, works for magazines and companies and the like. She blogs a lot about her projects and her son, Simon, who is autistic.

Next week, she's doing a week long project called A Week In The Life Of... where she's documenting a week of her life. The idea is to scrapbook the ordinary, the boring, the everyday, those routines that we get into.

I'm planning to do this project. I hope I can keep up with it! Ali's said on her blog that she's blogging about it as a way to be accountable - her readers will hold her accountable. So, I'm thinking if I blog about it, then maybe I'll actually do it, and I'll blog more! (My sister tells me I don't blog enough... :-) ). You guys will hold me accountable, right?

Plus, I'm getting involved in a photography group at church, and I've found it really hard to find photographic inspiration in the every day. Each week I come back with nothing, or with pictures from years ago, because I just feel like my every day is boring. And (back to the child thing) since I don't have children, I don't really feel like I have much to scrapbook about, but I know that's not true. I just haven't found the right angle for inspiration.

So, my hopes for this project:

-Record a week of my life: have a record of my everyday routine.
-Blog about what I'm taking pictures of and my thoughts through the process.
-Find photographic inspiration in my every day life.
-Create a scrapbook/pages about life! (Isn't that what scrapbooking's all about?)

Wish me luck...and if you don't see posts, ask me about them!

Nashville Gas

2008-09-23T08:57:00.002-05:00

This has got to be the funniest thing I've ever seen.

To Child or Not to Child

2008-09-10T14:48:00.002-05:00

There are many divisions in our world. Race, religion, political beliefs, income, the list goes on. The more time I spend being an adult, the less I see these divisions matter. I can have a perfectly good, even wonderful, conversation with someone of a different race, someone of a different denomination or religion, someone with different political beliefs as me, someone in a higher or lower tax bracket than myself. But I find that there is another division that is becoming more and more prevalent each day. That division is whether or not you have children.

Think about it. Everyone who has children can talk about their children non-stop: good or bad. I see it everywhere. I hear it everywhere. I'm a scrapbooker, and as I peruse blogs and sites, everything scrapbooking has to do with children (or travel). Maybe it's just that it's that time of year: starting school, new beginnings, parents are realizing that their children are growing up, so they want to reminisce and hold on to what they currently have before their children turn into adults and, for sure, have children of their own. Maybe it's because my husband and I are now the only ones of his immediate family who are childless. But it seems everything always comes down to the kids...so and so did something cute, so and so was really trying my patience, try this on a page for your kid, how do you deal with this aspect of being a parent?, etc. Not that I exactly mind...I love kids! I want some of my own someday. But I think I really feel left out, because I can't relate. I joke that I don't have kids so I have to scrapbook my dog. And I do (scrapbook my dog, that is). But no matter how cute my dog is, there's really a limit to the variety of pages you can do about a dog. Playing ball...going for a walk...rubbing his belly...that's about it. (I refuse to scrapbook about his bathroom habits, even if they are endearing to me.)

No matter what else divides us, I think it's the kid factor that divides us most, maybe because that's one of the few things that actually affects our daily lives. You have to think about kids daily, if you have them. You don't necessarily think about your religion (even if you should), or your politics (except for right now), or your income (unless it's not high enough). And maybe it's that all of those life factors are thought of a taboo topics. What are you not supposed to bring up in polite conversation? Politics and religion. But kids are fair game. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And though I refrain from scrapbooking my dog's natural system, I know moms who don't refrain from the same about their kids!

And so I wonder if it really is something that changes in you, that moment that a child enters your life. I guess it's kind of obvious that it does. But is it a chemical change? Something physical? Because I've seen it happen to people who haven't actually given birth to the child, just embraced them into their lives.

And I wonder if the same will happen to me when I have kids. I have lots of friends who don't have children. Will my husband and I cross a bridge that separates us from all the other childless people of the world? And if that's an inevitable change, is it one I really want? And is it possible to prevent that change from totally consuming our lives?

Parent or not - what do you think?

Life List, Part 2

2008-08-15T15:11:00.003-05:00

Here I go again...

11. Live outside the U.S. for 3+ months.
12. Get a Master's Degree.
13. Weigh 130 lbs.
14. Bring Canvas bags to the grocery store. (check!)
15. Learn to dance ballet.
16. Learn to play the violin.
17. Sing jazz in a classy bar/night club.
18. Flip a house.
19. Visit every state in the U.S.
20. Learn to swim properly.

Beautiful

2008-08-08T13:53:00.003-05:00

There is nothing wrong with you.

Do you believe it?

It's an interesting idea. We have all been taught that there's something wrong with us. Where does it come from? Parents? Friends? Comparing ourselves to others?

I ran across this in Gavin's link-love. I think it's interesting that I would find it now. I'm reading this book my sister gave me called Uglies. It's a trilogy: Uglies, Pretties, and Specials. It's young adult fiction, futuristic. The main character, Tally, lives in a world where on your 16th birthday, you're made pretty. Everyone. Through an operation, they shave down or beef up your bones, fat, skin, everything, to make you look "pretty" - or, in other words, like everyone else. They teach them in school that this is a good thing: everyone equally pretty, no one stands out, nothing to fight over.

Sounds good, right? But when Tally's friend, Shay, runs away, and Tally goes after her, Tally learns that being pretty isn't always that good. She meets David, and for the first time in her ugly life, she is called beautiful. And she believes it.

What if we could be called beautiful, and believe it when we heard it? Sure, our parents call us beautiful. Boyfriends, friends, husbands, those who love us and know us say, "yeah, you're beautiful." "No, you're not fat." "I like the way your eyes are too far apart." "It's what's on the inside that counts." We hear those words, and know in our minds that they're true, but it's our hearts that don't believe. It's our hearts that need compassion. Maybe if we could each have a little more compassion for our own self, we'd be able to have compassion for others, too.

Summer TV

2008-08-01T09:35:00.003-05:00

As I get older, I'm becoming more aware of the world around me. It's interesting, because I find myself becoming aware of things, and wondering if they're new things because of the changing times, or if they've always been that way, and my juvenile mind has been inward focused enough to not notice.

One of those things is summer tv. Now, I remember as a kid always having my summer packed with reruns. Now summer's the time to try out new tv shows and see what makes it to fall to be added to the list. Has summer always been a time for new shows? Or are the stations just looking for new ways to inundate us with television? I have a feeling it's the latter, but realizing that I've been pretty oblivious of things in the past, I have to wonder.

This summer I've become devoted to two shows: The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and Swingtown. Interestingly enough, both about sex. The Secret Life is about a teenage girl, about 15, who gets pregnant at band camp over the summer. I have to say, it is probably one of the worst shows on tv, in terms of talent and writing. The scripts are awful! No one talks like that, seriously. And many of the actors are pretty bad, in my opinion. But, I'm intrigued. Mostly, I think, because the main character (the one who's pregnant) is phenomonal! Okay...maybe not phenononal, but comparatively speaking...she's really good. And I'm invested in her. I want to know what happens. I want to know if she decides to keep the baby or have an abortion. I want to know if she tells her parents, and if she does, how they react. I want to know how she's going to respond to her new boyfriend who now wants to marry her and claim the baby as his. Granted...writing being poor, she is able to switch emotions pretty quickly - from angry at herself and the world to madly in love with this quirky guy who's joining the band just to be with her. But, what teenager doesn't have raging emotions that change in a flash? All badness aside, this is a great show - one to definately to keep me around. It's from the creators of 7th Heaven, and if I remember correctly, 7th Heaven had some pretty bad acting and writing to begin with. But it overcame, and sustained, what, ten years on tv? Maybe there's hope for the Secret Life, too.

The second show is Swingtown. It's about what it sounds like it's about...Swingers. Ha! What an amazing concept. I love recent history - like 50s, 60s, 70s. The decades they never taught us in school because our teachers had lived them and didn't want to be reminded of them. This show is like a history lesson in narrative...yet, is about the history they NEVER would have talked about in school! It's mainly about a couple who move to a new neighborhood, leaving their best friends behind. They meet the new neighbors, who throw swinger parties at their house and even have a "special room" downstairs where all the fun happens. In an effort to keep their old friends, they continue to invite them around, not really knowing what they're all getting themselves into. We're several episodes in, so there's too much to account, but, contrary to the Secret Life, this show contains some really good acting and script writing. The characters seem real - and like they really live in the 70s, but still have current appeal. There's the classic housewife (the old friend) and the classic bad girl (the new friend) and the caught-in-between main character, but it's gone so much further than that, to talk about relationships, and fidelity, and what love really is. The most interesting thing, I think, is that there's a storyline with the kids, too - the daughter dating her summer school teacher and the son sort of beginning his first romance with the girl next door. And even those stories are valued - just as much a part of the whole show as the parents/adults. I was a little unsure of this show at first, but I'm completely hooked. Mostly because they don't do a whole lot of stupid things...and when they do, consequences ensue. And they don't dodge the issues...they lay them out there on the table. They're not perfect, they're real, in a refreshing way.

So...that's my summer line up. What's yours?

Life List

2008-07-21T15:38:00.002-05:00

It's time I came up with a life list. (http://coolpeopleiknow.blogspot.com/2007/08/do-you-have-life-list-if-no-read-this.html) I will keep adding to this as I think of new things. Here's to the start of something beautiful!

1. See the grand canyon.
2. Be a mom.
3. Direct Ragtime.
4. Write and teach a Harry Potter curriculum.
5. Be on NPR.
6. Have a party in my beautiful backyard. (It's not yet beautiful!)
7. Travel to Italy, France, Germany, and Austria.
8. Learn to make a Wilton Flower.
9. Cook a meal without screwing something up.
10. See the Great Barrier Reef.

Ten to begin...more to come soon!

Always

2008-07-21T15:31:00.004-05:00

We have our bishop returning. I had heard that we and our sister conference were not pleased with him, and that we all wanted a new bishop. But he was reassigned to our area for four more years.

I did go to his reception, figuring it would probably look bad if I didn't. And when I shook his hand, he actually asked me if I was glad he was returning.

I smiled, paused, and responded "Always."

I'm not a quick thinker. I can never come up with the right response at the right moment. Later, I think of hundreds of things I should have said. Some cordial and appropriate. Some not so much.

"I'm glad you won't be leaving on a bad note."

"I'm glad we'll have four more years to work out our differences." (thanks, Ginny!)

"I'm pleased you'll have four years to try to rebuild the bridges you've burned."

"I hope you'll use your time to engage the youth and young adults you have shut out."

"I'm glad you won't be destroying another conference's youth and young adult ministries."

But what did I say? "Always."

So, here's to "always." Whatever that means.

Budget

2008-07-21T15:23:00.003-05:00

We did get Friday afternoon off. Friday morning we passed the budget. A budget that reduces the amount of money given to each ministry in the jurisdiction by 25% each year for the next four years, so that by 2013, we as a jurisdiction will be putting no money into any of our ministries.

Read that paragraph again.

A proposal of reorganization was brought to the floor that reorganized the SEJ, basically making the three facilities (Lake Junaluska, Gulfside, and ugh, I can't remember the name of the third!) "Agencies" of the jurisdiction, with the intention that they would be self-sustaining by 2013. Gulfside was severely damaged by Katrina, so the committee that brought this proposal ensured that care would be given to Gulfside, and that the self-sufficient deadline could be extended if necessary.

What they did not clarify was their idea of self-sufficient. They want the ministries of these assemblies to be self-sufficient. And they include the summer youth events that happen at Lake Junaluska under the umbrella of Lake Junaluska, not under the ministries of the SEJ.

They also included hispanic, native american, and african american ministries under this, too, and intend for those ministries to be self-sufficient by 2013.

So...where are our apportionment dollars in the SEJ going? Well...they'll be going to pay off the debt for repairing the dam at Lake Junaluska.

I use that dam every year. I cross it on my way to Wal-Mart in Waynesville. Without it, there would be no Lake Junaluska. It's a very important dam. But more important than ministries?

According to our Jurisdictional body, yes.

It is a sad day for the United Methodist Church.

Young People Address

2008-07-18T08:30:00.004-05:00

The youth and young adult address went really well! The youth went first, and talked about the great things that the SEJ does with youth, including bringing in over 600 youth through the gates of Lake Junaluska each summer. Then for the young adult report, we had about 10-15 young adults stand at the mic and make a statement about either themselves or the situation of a young adult. I said "I am a young adult. My husband and I have been married for four and a half years, and I am working in my first job. I am a young adult." Some of the others said things about having children, owning a home, financial issues, and other marital situations. We were trying to give the body an overall idea of the broad range of life situations in which young adults find themselves. Then Pheobe Hathorn, who has been the secretary of the SEJ Young People's group, gave a rousing speech about young people. The best thing she said (which actually was an idea from Kelsey Morris, who was listed as the person to give the speech, but no one told her until about a week before, and she wasn't able to come) was that young adults are not just the future of the church, or even the present, but are the past, present, and future of the church. We have been here, we are here, and we will be here for years to come. I was moved by her speech. I don't think the body was moved quite as much as I was, but I was moved!

Of course, as always, we give lipservice to our young people, but when it comes to putting them on committees, giving them money, or including them in representation, it's a whole different story. We just passed the nominations report, and there was one youth in the entire list. One. There were eight young adults, which was good. And I guess it's hard to ask youth to serve on a General Board and Agency. But we should try, and we should make it possible for them to attend. Have a board meeting in the summer.

Election

2008-07-17T10:48:00.002-05:00

6 Ballots and we have a bishop. Paul Leland, from North Carolina, was elected this morning with 2 more votes than the number needed.

As a fellow delegate said, there is a sense of relief when the process is over, no matter how it turns out. It's always disappointing when "your" candidate isn't elected, but I think somewhere deep inside none of us expected that Lynn would be elected. However the turn out, I do think that Paul Leland has good possibility. I liked what he said Tuesday in the round robin sessions, some of the answers he gave and points he made. But, I liked our bishop four years ago, too, so I'm hesitant to even give my own opinion on what kind of bishop he'll make. None of us really know.

So, now we turn to the other business of the Jurisdictional Conference. What would that other business be? Well...that's a good question. We're all kind of wondering the same thing. Bishop Whitaker told me this morning that the Consecration service will not be moved up because there is a consensus among the Council of Bishops that all newly elected bishops will be consecrated on the same day across the country. That's kind of cool, I can understand that. But the agenda committee reported this morning, and didn't really make any changes. We're thinking we can at least move things together and get longer meal breaks. Someone did request from the floor that we try to finish our business this afternoon and tomorrow morning and take tonight off. We'll see! I think it's possible.

We do have other business. We've been doing teaching sessions, which have been pretty good, except for the first one. It was really boring, given by a professor of theology. I think he tried to cram an entire college course into an hour. Michael was able to summarize his points into about 5 minutes. The second was very interesting, given by a historian and theologian. I didn't pay close attention because I was doing a sudoku, but what I heard was good. We're in the middle of the third right now, being given by Bishop Carder, so of course it's good! But I'm blogging and not paying close attention, either.

Almost time for lunch. The youth and young adult addresses are this afternoon. I'll post about them later!

Holy Cow...We ARE moving into the 21st Century!

2008-07-16T13:18:00.003-05:00

This is from this umc.org website:

Episcopal Election Updates

Receive up-to-the-minute results of the Episcopal elections delivered directly to you. You can receive updates on your phone by text message or by calling or emailing InfoServ, the United Methodist Information Service.

Subscribe to Text Messaging

United Methodist Communications and Unwired Appeal have partnered to offer episcopal election results sent directly to your mobile phone as they occur. Subscribers will receive a text message whenever a bishop has been elected. To get these updates on your mobile phone:

Send a text message with your phone to 47647 with the word BISHOP in the body.
You will receive a message asking for verification. Reply with the word YES to confirm.
To unsubscribe, send another text message to 47647 with the word STOP in the body.

Subscribe to our RSS feed

Get the latest news headlines delivered directly to your desktop or Web browser through RSS feeds. Using XML (Extensible Markup Language), information will be delivered to your desktop and automatically updated as new stories are published.

To subscribe to a feed, click the link below and follow the instructions there to add the feed address to a RSS reader or web browser.

Subscribe to RSS News headlines

Receive news by email

Receive the latest Jurisdictional Conference and election coverage in your inbox by subscribing to our email list. You will receive daily emails of all relevant stories.

Sign up for our Jurisdictional coverage emails

Note: If you already receive daily UMNS stories, you do not need need to subscribe to this email list. You will automatically receive these stories.

Call or email InfoServ

Listen to recorded updates of the results of the Episcopal elections for each jurisdiction. Call the toll-free InfoServ number (800-251-8140) and follow the menu options to access recorded updates. You may also email questions to infoserv@umcom.org.

1st Ballot

2008-07-16T13:02:00.002-05:00

Okay...so we're back after lunch. We've had a showchoir singing and dancing for us. They're not that good in the singing area, but their dancing is pretty good, and man are they having fun! It's a choir from a church, and there's a bunch of them. It's really cool to see a church with that kind of ministry.

I think it's time to hear a ballot. The first was taken, and it was supposed to be a write in. But they listed all of the declared candidates in alphabetical order and we filled in the box next to the name. Interesting...I thought the first was to be a write in so that no one had preferential treatment by having their name listed first. Maybe they can't read people's handwriting?

Lunch was glorious! We ate boxed lunches outside by the lake. It was beautiful! I avoided Cokesbury, so I wasn't tempted to buy anything. The plan is Italian for dinner. Yum!

More later!

Juridsuctional Conference: Day 1/2 and 1

2008-07-16T09:40:00.003-05:00

The conference actually started today, but yesterday we had a "round robin" meet and greet with each of the episcopal nominees. I was interested that my impressions of the candidates changed between their presentations to the large group and then their q&a with each individual conference.

So far, it's been really good. We're staying at Providence Lodge with Michael, Margaret, Sarah and Elizabeth, and Beth and Debbie. We're having a good time! The only person missing is Mark...he decided he didn't want to take the time off work for this. Can't say that I blame him, but I wish he was here! Last night we went to a cookout for the delegation and then played games (Nert? New to me! and Apples to Apples). This morning we walked around the lake with the Williams. It was a beautiful morning.

Stuart Auditorium has air conditioning! I'm kinda upset...because now it's freezing in here. And we've lost that "nature" feel. They have all the windows closed and signs all over saying keep the windows and doors closed. It's crazy.

Okay, we're moving to a service of preparation for electing a new bishop. Let the fun begin!

Nashville Sounds

2008-07-08T18:22:00.002-05:00

So, the women's ensemble that I sing with sang the National Anthem at the Nashville Sounds Game Sunday night! It was very exciting. About 300 groups auditioned to sing, and only about 50 or so were asked! We were pumped. Even with the Sounds' losing season and a small crowd, it was still the biggest audience we've ever sung for!

4th of July weekend was awesome! Mark and I went to Nashville Shores with Linda and James Thursday after work. That was the first time we'd really gotten to hang out with them, and we had a really good time! Nashville Shores was packed with people. We made it down two slides in two hours. Definitely overcrowded. But Linda found a great place to watch the fireworks over the lake, and that made the whole day worth it! Afterwards, we went back to Linda and James' house and hung out for awhile, just talking. It was really good!

Then Friday was the big family picnic. I overate - though I did better than usual. All of the family was there, and we got to meet the new baby Liam - he's so precious! That night we saw the downtown fireworks. Once again, Mark's dad was awesome at finding just the right spot at just the right moment. We had a great view, and then a perfect shot to get out of downtown without getting stuck in the traffic!

Saturday was a day at the Caboose. It poured rain for about 3 hours, which stunk, but it really cooled things off. We went to the Soda Pop Junction for lunch - I always love that place.

And then we ended the weekend by singing at the Sounds' game! It was a really good weekend!

This week I'm working VBS at church. Our church goes all out for VBS - completely transforms the entire children's wing and about half of the rest of the church. As one of our pastors said today, it's not decorating, it's remodeling! This is the second year I've done VBS, and I really hope to get more involved in future years. Decorating would be so much fun, but they always do it while I'm working. But at least my work will let me off to do VBS!

Truth

2008-06-23T08:44:00.002-05:00

So, gavin posted this quote on his blog from another website: "Truth comes from being involved, and not from observation and speculation."

The first thing that came to my mind was the quote from our bishop: "this is not a vision, this is just an observation."

And I wonder how different our conference would be if our bishop was actually involved in youth and children's ministry, instead of just observing, and telling others what to do.

And I wonder what I only observe, and try to speak truth to, without actually being involved. What am I involved in? For so long, I was completely involved in youth ministry - as a youth. And then I was completely involved as a college student in my college. But I feel now that I'm not really involved in anything. I'm not devoted to anything. I feel almost guilted into everything I'm doing - none of it is by choice. I work because I have to make money, not because I enjoy what I'm doing. I sing because I have a good voice and have been made to feel a sense of responsibility about that, not because I want to be involved in choirs. I even scrapbook out of a sense of responsibility to make money and provide an avenue for getting more supplies. I haven't actually made a scrapbook page for myself in at least six months.

So, without being involved, to what can I speak truth? And am I supposed to become involved in the things I'm already doing, or do I need to find new things that I'm passionate about to become involved in? And what would those things be?

Maybe my goal for the rest of this year will be to become truly involved in something, so that I may speak truth.

What are you involved in? What can you speak truth about? And not just what do you do...what are you passionate about? Everyone should have something, whatever it may be.

It Begins Today!

2008-06-09T08:37:00.002-05:00

Well, actually yesterday, but the actual business of our conference starts today. I'm so proud of my conference for setting up wireless in the church where we're meeting!

The biggest thing to me to come up this week will be our petition regarding the Programming Positions of the Conference. Since it's a resolution, we don't know when it will come up, but I'll be sure to post when it does!

So far this morning, we've had the report of the Standing Rules Committee, and are now on the CF&A report. Interesting to note...we had to suspend the standing rules so that we could hear the report of the Standing Rules because they didn't get their report in on time. We have a rule that reports have to be in at a particular time to be included in the Pre-Conf. Journal (or Pre-Conf. CD this year), and they didn't make it. Ha! I just thought that was kind of funny. Evidently that will be happening a lot.

27 Dresses

2008-05-28T11:52:00.003-05:00

So i finally saw 27 Dresses this morning! I know, I'm behind the times. It was worth the wait, though. I thought it was a really good movie - unpredictable in a predictable kind of way, you know? In watching the commentary, the director said that they wanted to do a character driven movie, as opposed to the standard love triangle, what obstacles can the over come usual bit. I did think the story line was good. Of course, it's cliche - the always a bridesmaid never a bride who's in love with the man who she can't tell and watches him fall in love and get married to none other than her sister. But there was a lot of reality in there. Though i did get married young, I do understand the feeling of being the one left out - I think all girls are born with it.

Unpredictable - like I didn't see things coming, but then when they happened, I thought, well, of course that's how it was going to happen. Like when Jane and Kevin finally get together, and the next day she sees the article he wrote about her. Of course that's how it was going to happen. But I wasn't waiting for it to happen, you know?

There were a lot of really good one-liners, too, ones that you've never heard before, which was refreshing. I mean, most one liners are good, but almost staged, kind of. They seem too forced. But the good ones in this movie were just right. I think my favorite was the one Jane told her sister in the bridal shop - yesterday you were my sister, but today you're just another bitch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress. It's one of those lines that just doesn't fit in any situation, but applies to everything.

And I thought it was perfect that at her wedding, she had all 27 former brides lined up in the dresses she'd worn to their weddings next to her! Classic! I thought it was hilarious. My sis got teary-eyed, and I can understand that, it was very sweet. She'd always known they'd be there for her one day, just as she'd been there for them, and they were. But it was also poetic justice, and a perfect way to end the movie. And, by the way, did anyone catch in the "credits," which were newspaper stories about their wedding, the ad for 27 dresses for sale, only worn twice?!

Overall, cute movie. And, I'm excited about my second chic flic of the week coming up on Friday - Sex and the City! Saw my first episode of the show on Saturday, and within a week, I'll know the whole story! I sure do love my sister. :-)

Recovering

2008-05-24T16:40:00.002-05:00

So...surgery went well yesterday. I had to wait a really long time, which was a bummer because the longer I waited, the more nervous I got. They wanted me there 2 hours early, and it took 45 minutes to get ready - so I had an hour and fifteen minutes to lay in the bed, waiting. They thought I might go early, but that didn't pan out.

But, once they actually did take me, everything went well. I had some sort of reaction to something - I turned pink and splotchy, and I don't what I reacted to, maybe some medicine or the sheets or something. It wasn't a big deal...I don't think! :-)

And now I'm home, resting, for one whole blissful week! I'm very excited about my time of rest. My mom's taking care of me this weekend. (She's such a good nurse!) Then next week it'll be back to me and the boys (the hubby and the dog, that is).

Just wanted to update you all. Thanks for the love and care everyone's sent my way!

Why I Do What I Do.

2008-05-19T09:28:00.004-05:00

I had a conversation with some friends yesterday about our UMC conferences. There were a couple of people there who were saying they would never want to go to General or Jurisdictional conference because of all the politics, that the didn't think they could deal with it, that kind of stuff just wasn't what they'd want to do with their time, and that Annual Conference was bad enough. One person said, specifically, "there's a reason I don't go" and my response was "there's a reason I do." That prompted one of my pastors to ask me, why do you go?

Hmm...why do I go?

I'm invested in this church thing, more so than really anything else in my life, with the exception of my marriage/family. One of my strengths is Connectedness. So a connectional church is right up my alley. But I don't like the way we do things in the church right now. I think we are WAY too political, and like the culture around us, we have ceased to listen, collectively, for the voice of God. We all have our agendas - even me, as I discovered that about myself at this year's GC. But there's got to be a greater good we are all seeking.

I talked in a previous post about that experience I had, where I made the choice to stick with the church, to involve myself so deeply into it to work to change it for the better. When I attended my first Jurisdictional Conference, the way I explained it to people when I got back home was that it was a democratic convention where we prayed. And our prayers during the worship services were generally the only time we collectively asked God to be present, and sought God's guidance. We didn't pray during the business sessions. We usually didn't pray before taking a vote, unless someone from the floor asked us to, which usually only happened when things were getting heated.

And the language used! Who's going to "win" the "episcopal race"? Our "candidate" is better than theirs. Our "campaign" is going well. Our "publicity" is the best we've seen.

What about this? "We have open hearts, open minds, and are listening to the voice of God to lead us to the person God has called to this office. It may be this person who comes from our Conference, or it may be that person who comes from that other conference, but we are going to listen with faithful ears and pray for God's guidance in this process."

So...why do I do this? So that i can at least be one voice and mind who is saying that statement above. And because I truly believe God has called me to do it. God has given me a connectedness strength, which gives me a desire to understand this crazy political system we have created. God has given me an intuitive mind to see beyond the pomp and circumstance to what the process could actually be. So I go, and I serve, and I do what it is that God has called me to do at this point. And I look for those opportunities to share God's spirit in the process, to remind others why we are really there. And I learn from others who have much more experience so that I may be knowledgable. And it makes a difference. Even when i don't see it, even when I get so upset because I think nothing will ever change, I know that God speaks through me. I do believe my one vote and my one voice makes a difference.

Random Thoughts

2008-05-16T11:30:00.002-05:00

Gavin posted on the methoblog (http://www.methoblog.com/?q=node/140) that he liked what I did during GC. That's encouraging! I really am going to try to keep this up...I promise! Here's the problem - access to blogger at work doesn't always work that well, for instance, right now I don't have access to set up weblinks (hence the pasted address above as opposed to the natural link it usually is...), and spell check doesn't work (sorry for the many mispellings to come...) so trying to blog during breaks and in between switching gears isn't always that easy. I miss the wonderful wireless from the convention center in Fort Worth...ahh, the good old days.

Anywho. In an effort to keep going, I'll simply share what's on my mind right now: surgery. We'll get there.

I find it so interesting that I'm able to segment my life. A characteristic of my generation is that we DON'T segment our lives, as many of our elders have done for generations. I really segment it into two: work and everything else. Maybe it comes from not particularly enjoying what I'm doing right now, but I've drawn a line and I work, usually subconsciously, to keep the two separate. I rarely take work home, and I don't talk about it much outside of work unless someone asks. I'm in a different mind at work, I guess, focused on what I'm doing there, focused on the problems I encounter, focused on just keeping afloat in our dreaded schedule. And maybe it comes from my sincere desire to not be negative about my job to "outsiders" - those outside the people I work with, who understand, and immediate family, who may not understand but are at least sympathetic. I swore I would not bad-mouth my job in a public forum, lest it come back to haunt me when/as I search for a new job. I struggle for the balance among constructive criticism, anguish, and down-right vilification.

And so, when I'm at work, I don't think about "the outside world" much. And when I'm in the bless-ed outside world, I don't think about work.

Until this past week.

I have gallstones. (Yea! from the peanut gallery) And next Friday, I will be having my gallbladder removed. And all of a sudden, personal life and work life are coliding. I have to fill out short-term disability forms (affectionately called STD forms...isn't that lovely). I have to talk to my boss about personal matters, working schedules around my personal schedule. It's just a little strange. And, with gallstones, I've got this ever-present nagging annoyance (I wouldn't even call it pain) in my gut, bringing the two worlds together. It's a very interesting place to be.

Response to Brokenness #1

2008-05-09T00:50:00.002-05:00

There is so much more to say regarding my previous post. Please don't see it as an all-encompassing description of my feelings on the matter. It's just the words I can muster at this moment.

Continuing the brokenness, and working to mend, I recalled this poem I'd seen a few weeks back - it's present and linked to on several blogs, but this is the one I could find. It's not one of the most well written poems I've ever read. But I'm beginning to understand that I'm not the only one who can't always find the best or most eloquent words to describe my relationship with the church.

Broken

2008-05-08T23:37:00.006-05:00

For all you readers who may not know me, just be forewarned, this post is a little personal. Okay, a lot personal. I had another bad experience today, and I'm broken. I've yelled, and screamed, and cried, and cussed, as you'll discover if you continue. And now, as a good little millennial, I blog.

I've never confessed this to anyone.

When I was in the sixth grade, I said my first cuss word. I remember it very clearly. It was "damn." There was no reason for me to say it, other than that I was angry. I didn't know it at the time, but I was just simply angry at the church.

My father is a minister, an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church. That means he's itinerate - he's under the appointment of the bishop, at the bishop's will as to where to move him from church to church within a conference, or across conference lines if the bishop sees fit.

I'd lived with this. We'd moved every few years my entire life. It was a part of life. It's helped shape me into the person I am today. But so long ago, I just didn't quite understand it.

We had been living at one place for two years. Not a very long time, but I had actually made some very good friends. Those kind of friends that when you graduate high school together you reminisce about your entire lives together. It didn't matter that we'd only known one another for two years, we'd become close. Sure, we fought, and I'm sure I romanticize it all now. But for the first time that I can remember, I had good friends.

And I really liked the church. Turns out, I didn't know a whole lot of the goings on and they didn't particularly care for my father very much, at least a small portion of them didn't. But I felt at home. I looked up to my sister and all of her friends in the youth group and looked forward to the day I'd be there. I was friends with some of the kids, and even had a crush on a particular boy. Life was as it should be for any fifth grader.

Then my father was moved. I remember telling one friend who's grandmother lived across the street from me - we were in a homemade tent in my room, and I said, you know we're moving, and she said, I know, and that was about the end of it.

Anywho, to make a long story not quite so long, after we moved, we were invited back to a picnic. There was this park in the town, and they had just worked to build this wonderful playground, and we'd had many picnics there with friends. So, they invited us back, as friends, and we went.

I was playing on the playground, and I don't know there was just something in me that was angry. This wasn't my playground anymore, these weren't my friends anymore. And as we were playing tag, running around the playground, I started cussing when someone would get away from me. I did it over and over and over again, just like it was natural. I'd moved away, i'd changed, I wasn't the person they used to know. They weren't my friends anymore. I didn't belong there. I felt so out of place, so...

A boy finally stopped me, the older brother of the guy I kind of had a crush on. He told me that I couldn't say words like that because there were little kids around. I told him I didn't care. I wanted him to think I was cool, better off for having moved. Or having been moved.

I cussed again today because of the church, a particularly bad one, much worse than that first one. Oh, I've said many cuss words between then and now, but today after it came out of my mouth I remembered that anger at something I felt I had no control over. Basically, I work for the church, and I was let down, once again, and made to feel worthless, less than, unworthy. Like I don't matter. Left angry...furious.

So it leaves me up at 11:54 at night, wondering the question that's been rolling around in my head all day. How long do I stand it? How many times do I let the church walk over me, drive me into the ground, deeper and deeper before I finally say, enough. Can I let myself be hung on a cross with Jesus? Can I pick up my cross? Because I want to change things. I want to make a difference. And I don't know how. God, if Jesus felt this helpless, this hopeless. I don't even want this cup to be taken from me, I just want to know that my cup is doing the right thing. I want some affirmation that I'm doing the right thing. Just a small piece of proof.

I remember another time, returning from a youth event. I was getting my stuff out of my car, and as I walked down the driveway, I don't even remember what prompted this, but I remember thinking, I have a choice, and I have to make it now. I can give up on this church thing. I can say enough, I've had it, and walk away. Or I can throw myself into it and do everything I can to change it for the better. I chose to stay. To devote myself to it, to learn its ways so that I may become knowledgeable and wise, and understanding, and the work to mold it to look more like the church Jesus had in mind. I felt it was my calling, to change things from the inside. Truly.

There have been several times since that point that I have wanted to remake that choice, today being top on the list. I just feel like I can't do anything. I feel powerless, as I watch others much more powerful than me make decisions and actions that are so wrong and hurtful, often without even realizing it. And I feel like my efforts at change are futile. I understand the change process is slow, and that we don't always get to see the fruits of our labor, more often not than so. But when I don't even know where to begin to change something...

My friend told me to begin with Jesus. Crawl into his arms and start there. But I've never encountered God in that way, as a comforter like that. I encounter God in an intellectual manner, a conversational manner, God I don't understand this, help me to understand. Because what I know of the church, who has taught me about God, is that its rational, its cognitive. Decisions are made not in the heart but in the head. But it's become so emotional, so heart centered. It always has been, I guess, as evidenced - anger like that comes from the heart, from being heart sick and broken.

And so I return to my question. How many times can I be broken before I can't be put back together again? Before I won't let myself be put back together? I guess my friend was right. Begin with Jesus. If I could just find him in this mess.

PC vs. Mac

2008-05-07T10:35:00.003-05:00

This is becoming a big issue for me. Bigger by the moment.

Let me give you just a little background. I was always pretty adverse to macs once reaching high school, when pcs became the norm used in public education. I had used macs in middle school, but not that commonly, and once we had a pc in our home, that was my computer of choice.

My college roommate even had a mac - a macbook. She LOVED it! And I just rolled my eyes and settled down at my little HP laptop and continued my work. Then I rolled my eyes at her as I had to ship my little HP laptop off to the manufacturer to be repaired.

Then I graduated from college. And I came to work at the place I affectionately call my job. And I was informed on my first day that I was to work on a mac - everyone does it. (Bandwagon theory?) I expressed my concerns to my fellow co-workers, and they all said, do not worry, you'll pick it up in no time, and you'll love it.

Boy, were they right! Can I say this...once you go mac you never go back! (I've been dying to say that for weeks now...)

So, today, I open Gavin's blog, and he's got a post about this meeting with a guy, Jim Palmer, and he mentions some of the shifting vocabulary, one being PC - Mac. I just nodded my head and continued on my merry way, agreeing with him just to the point of nodding my head, but not eliciting any sort of response. After all, I've experienced that shift, PC-Mac, along with many of the other shifts he mentioned.

Then in my searching, I came across another blog who was responding to Gavin's post. Read it here.

This post inspired me to respond. You can read my comment at the bottom of his blog, or read it below. This is what I said:

The key to me is the focus on customers, not profits. The way this translates into the church for me is a focus on quality, not quantity. We have to focus on ensuring that the people who are already in our churches are connecting with God on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Then the numbers will come, because if you are in a place that you are invigorated and encouraged and energized, you can't help but tell others about it. Growth, as you suggested, is definitely a by product, rather than a goal. If firmly feel that our goal has to be creating disciples for Jesus Christ - and that doesn't mean just getting more and more people to the front of the church to be baptized and take the membership vows. That means once one person comes to the front and is baptized and takes the membership vows, they are then integrated into the life of the church, and continually challenged and inspired to grow in their discipleship. It isn't a "join the church, then you're done" mindset, which is what I think we too often have. Joining the church is just the beginning.

Like Craig, I feel I am blessed with a church that is beginning to focus on the aftermath of joining a church, not just on getting people to the front of the sanctuary. Whatever its faults, in a 3 month period, we had over 100 people join our church. Growth as a by-product of an emphasis on quality.

[So ends my comment on his blog, but anyone who knows me knows I always have more to say.]

I keep returning to this generational theory stuff, but does it apply here, too? Is it, in general, a generational thing to focus on results in numeric value? Our profit margin, bottom line, numbers, membership, whatever it is, I see so many "establishments" in our society (the company I work for, churches, even the recent ongoings in the TN Conference) focus on things that can be measured numerically, on paper, "see?? We are a success!! Here's proof!" Maybe it's not necessarily a generational thing, but a shifting paradigm. Because I don't want to say everyone over 40 thinks in numbers and everyone under numbers thinks in undefinable quality. Because I know that not to be true - I know people on both sides of the "age line" who think the opposite.

There's a shift occurring in our world, eluded to by Gavin. Maybe it happens in every generation, and I'm just noticing it because this is the first shift I'm really old enough to be aware of. But I think there may be something larger going on here. I've heard of a commentator saying that what is occurring in our world right now is comparable to the Industrial Revolution, and it could be hundreds of years before we really see the movement going on for what it truly is and the impact it would have on our world. I kind of like thinking I could be a part of something to change the world. I guess I'm still young enough to hold on to that idealist part of my innocence. Or maybe that's a generational thing, too.

Home

2008-04-30T13:52:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm home from General Conference, and quite bummed about that fact. What in the world ever made me think I'd be okay with leaving in the middle and missing the end? As I told someone yesterday, to me, it's like going to a play and leaving at intermission, missing the second act. I want to know what's happening!

Okay...it was money, and attempting to be responsible, financially, to myself and those who have supported my trip there. As it turns out, I had pleanty of money and support to go, and by staying with Mark (therefore, not having to pay for a hotel room), I have lots of money left over!

Mark's company asked him to stay 2 more days, so he's coming home Thursday. I looked into changing my flight to stay, but it would have cost $200 to change it - about what I payed for the ticket in the first place! And I couldn't bring myself to pay that. I'll be donating the rest of the money given to me to UMCOR, probably Nothing But Nets.

So, I'm home. And now I get to follow the rest of General Conference like the rest of you, through the website and streaming sessions online. Good thing I met several bloggers there, and can now follow their blogs to keep updated!

Even though I'm home, and GC, for me at least, is over this year, I hope you will continue to check in here often to see what other updates I send out about my life. It's kind of boring, but my brain sure thinks about a lot of stuff!

Sweet, Sweet Spirit

2008-04-28T11:57:00.003-05:00

This blog exemplifies to me one aspect of the spirit I feel here at General Conference. It also shows one example of the difficult decisions that are being made here. I encourage you to read it, then return here for my notes.

Yes, there are politics. Yes, there is arguing. Yes, there are still those so caught up in themselves that they can't see the other person, only the opposition. Yes, there are those manipulating the system, as I've even talked about here. But there is an overwhelming sweet, sweet spirit in this place, and I know it is the spirit of the Lord.

What I have witnessed is a focus on Holy Conferencing. People are listening to one another. People are open, people are searching, and people are leaving their own plans at home and coming to this with a spirit of love.

I heard about a delegate yesterday who said something like, I came with one vote in mind, thinking I had made up my mind on a situation. But when I heard the speeches of others in the room, I realized a new point of view and changed my vote.

My God, we're finally getting it! (Okay, maybe some have had it). If we could make up our minds before coming, and continued to think the way we had when we arrived, then we could hold General Conference by mail.

People are making the tough decisions, as the blog I linked to shows. And we're listening to one another.

In Ministry and Higher Ed yesterday, they voted on a petition regarding clergy's ability to officiate a same-sex union. The vote was very close, like 34-47 against, or something like that. But the discussion was honorable. People spoke strongly for, and strongly against, but there was no mud-throwing or disrespect to anyone in the room. Though the vote didn't go the way I wanted it to go, I was proud of the people in the room who honored one another. After the vote, the chair even pointed out how well the conversation went, and how she was thankful for the honoring of the humanity represented in the room.

We've only just begun. Today is really the first day that legislation will come to the floor of the entire body from the committees. I hope that this body will continue to have a spirit of holiness and faith as they move through the rest of this week, dealing with the tougher issues and working on less and less sleep.

Thank you to all who are praying for the General Conference delegates. I feel so immensely blessed to just be able to witness this. It is a beautiful thing.

10.5 Hours of Sleep

2008-04-27T15:45:00.002-05:00

So, I got 10.5 hours of sleep last night! It was blissful! Mark had to work late, and we decided to sleep in and come in for the afternoon sessions. There was worship and plenary this morning, and not much to pass except for consent calendar items, so I don't think we missed much.

Some committees are done with their work - sub-committees have reported and the committees have worked through all of their legislation. Then there are others...Higher Ed, Church and Society, to name a few. They still have a LONG way to go, and they're supposed to be finished today, and they're not supposed to work tonight after about 4:30 because there's a huge dinner being hosted for all the delegates with a presentation, or something about Texas. Not really sure what it is, I'm not going (tickets for non-delegates are $25!), but it's a pretty big deal. I don't know if committees will press on and skip the dinner, or try to work in committee time outside the schedule.

Interesting Committee Observations

2008-04-27T15:44:00.000-05:00

I sat in on the sub-committee for Church and Society 2 last night (Saturday), the one dealing with issues of humanity - cloning, embryonic stem cell research, etc.

I don't have much to say on the actual issues. But it was interesting to observe the process they were using.

The other committees I've looked in on have been pretty relaxed, holding discussion and working toward consensus in holy conferencing. The chairs have been guiding and inclusive, reiterating as necessary, even drawing up documents to pull together the conversation, making sure everyone is on the same page.

The committee last night was a little different. They began every petition by having someone vote to adopt or reject the proposed legislation, and several times got bogged down in the semantics of Robert's Rules, because they tried to have open dialogue in the context of Robert's rules, and it wasn't really working that well.

This afternoon (Sunday), I went into Global Ministries. I thought that the standing rules had been changed so that the committees will vote on the actual petitions, and the same in the plenary, as opposed to voting concurrence or non-concurrence with the committee. But GM was voting concurrence/non-concurrence with the sub-committee. They were also not having people vote yea, they only asked for votes of no or not-voting. It made things go fast, because the pages didn't have to count all of the yes votes, they just subtracted the numbers of no's or not voting's.

I'm for doing what works. But I'm afraid, especially with the concurrence/non-concurrence voting, that things may get confusing when they return to the plenary.

Free Cell Phones - The Price?

2008-04-26T12:00:00.005-05:00

Interesting things are going on in our church.

If you're familiar with UMAction, you're probably familiar with the IRD. The IRD is the Institute on Religion and Democracy. They have been prominent in influencing General Conference by sending out materials and taking positions on generally conservative issues. They want to return the church to a more conservative mindset, focused on the sole authority of the Bible.

I get stuff in the mail from them all of the time. I do actually read it, just to know what they're saying. But I am always stressed out by it, and I become very frustrated at what is being sent out in the name of my church, because I do not agree with their exclusive mindset.

Well, word has gotten out at GC that the IRD has given free cell phones to the Central Conference delegates, along with printed information of who the IRD would like to see as members of the Judicial Council.

I'm sorry, but that sounds like bribery to me. Call it what you want, but if it looks like a duck and quacks (or rings...) like a duck, then it's probably a duck.

There was an article in the DCA that called the IRD on this. It was balanced - it had interviews from Central conference delegates who did not feel that they had been influenced in their vote, and others who did not accept the phones because they did not want their vote to be bought.

This morning in the session, someone made a motion that the 2012 GC Commission would study and present information regarding, basically, an Ethics Committee for the General Conference, a body to review issues like this, as there currently is nothing of the sort.

I think there is going to be some serious backlash to the IRD as a result of this. When the person made the motion and the bishop asked for a second, there was an overwhelming response. I will be interested to see where this goes.

Committee Hopping

2008-04-25T21:39:00.002-05:00

I'm committee hopping this evening.

Mark asked me to sit in on Discipleship to see what's going on with the hymnal. The sub-committee has passed the resolution that deals with creating a hymnal to be submitted for approval at the 2012 GC. (remember, it still has to pass through the whole committee, and then through the whole conference, but it's on its way!) There was a good consensus from the group on this. They had obviously been talking about it, and the chair had created a document to kind of bring together the thoughts regarding a new hymnal. There will be one for the church, and they acknowledge that it will be primarily used in the US, but that it can be "a prologue to additional future work for other regions of the world-wide United Methodist Church."

After than I mozeyed my way over to the sub-committee dealing with human sexuality. They were working on a petition to adopt language about homosexuality that says we are conflicted, and have yet to receive movement from the holy spirit as to where we should stand on this issue, but in the conflict, we as a church urge the UMC and other churches to not pass judgement on anyone because of their sexuality.

I'm afraid it won't pass the entire body because of that last part...though I have to say, didn't God say something about do not judge, lest you be judged?

After that, I traveled on and sat in on Higher Ed talking about deacons' sacramental rights. Pretty good discussion. I kind of came in in the middle, so I'm not clear what they were specifically talking about, but basically I think they were discussing granting deacons the ability to proceed over the sacraments under the oversight of the bishop, and mainly focused in areas outside the local church, in an effort to bring the sacraments to places they would not have previously gone. Some of the response to that was that we have enough issue helping the lay of our congregations understand why the liscensed local pastor with (often but not always) limited education and training has sacramental rights, and the deacon with an M.Div. doesn't. Point being, it would further confuse people if only some deacons have sacramental rights (those serving "in the world" and others don't (those serving in a local congregation).

The issue with granting blanket ability to the sacraments to deacons is the understanding of the order of deacon as we now know it - that deacons are ordained to service and word, not sacraments.

This is an issue I have thought some about, but still don't really know where I stand. On the one hand, I can see how a distinction between the order of deacon and order of elder can and is a good thing. But at the same time, I really don't think it's right that liscensed local pastors have sacramental rights while deacons don't. I think the sub-committee decided to send that to a sub-sub-committee for more discussion on the wording they want to present. It'll be interesting to see where it comes out. I think it will be granted within the oversight of the bishop, ds, or elder.

Alright, I'm headed home for the evening, I hope! I'll be back on tomorrow. Thanks for reading!

Local Church - Membership

2008-04-25T15:27:00.003-05:00

I'm getting to see how a sub-committee works this afternoon. I started out sitting in Church and Society 2 (deals with all of the homosexual petitions), but decided that I wasn't quite ready to deal with that issue, so I decided to come over to local church.

Well, evidently God thought I was ready. I sat in on the Local Church sub-committee that's dealing with membership...i.e. pastoral authority over membership...i.e. can a pastor decide to not accept someone into membership because they are a professing, practicing homosexual. Great.

Here are some of my notes:

The conversation is interesting. There are about 15 people in this sub-committee (only 5 women, and several clergy). They have pretty much affirmed the membership vows found in paragraph 217. So now they're talking about pastoral authority. There is one person in particular, a pastor, who is expressing a strong concern for unbridled authority. He sees this going further than sexual orientation, and fears a church where pastors can hand-select the type of people who are a part of the church.

There are really three options here. (If anyone has another, please share!) Pastors have no say - anyone who takes the vows can join the church. Pastors have total authority to prevent anyone they (the pastor) think is not prepared to take the vows from becoming a member. The pastor has the opportunity to counsel someone for membership and recommend to that person that he or she is not prepared to take the membership vows, but if the person decides to continue, the pastor cannot prevent that from happening.

One person is saying that, though he's not sure how it needs to be worded, pastors should have the authority to prevent membership, but should be held responsible for that authority by the others in the community.

Wow...what an ideal situation. Isn't that how all of our churches are supposed to work? Members and pastors are mutually responsible to one another, called to be in covenant relationship, holding each other accountable. I pray for the day that such a church exists. I've currently found the closest thing to it, and am aware of other congregations where this works well. However, I have experienced pastors who take that authority to the next step and do not allow the members of the congregation, or even other staff members, to hold them accountable. They take an authoritarian stance of power of their congregations, and God save anyone who gets in their way.

The conversation I had with Mark this afternoon surrounded the issue of sin. Even if you see homosexuality as a sin (which I don't), we let professing sinners in the door every day who have no plans to quit - alcoholics, glutons, liars, heck, Jesus said it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven, but I don't see any pastors preventing the well-off of our culture from joining. We more often rejoice when a rich man joins the church, 'cause we're hoping he tithes.

We can't take the part of the gospel we like and leave the rest. I pray to God I'm not doing that - someone call me on it if I am. The basis of the gospel is the three-fold "rules" that they've been talking about all week. Do no harm. Do good. Stay in love with God. We have to admit that we are broken people, we have to admit that the creations of humans, including the rules of our church, are broken institutions. We cannot shut out those longing for community simply because they disagree with us. God's church is GOD's church, God's table is GOD's table. Call me inclusive, call me lovey-dovey, but the doors of the church and membership in that body should be open to all!

Some of the other issues outside of homosexuality related to that are what about molestors/rapists? What about thiefs? What about the people who seek to harm others, or have harmed others in the past...are we not allowed to "protect" ourselves from them? Certainly! Just at there is a justice system in our government to protect the people (flawed as it may be), we must protect ourselves from those who have weaknesses in certain areas. Child molestors should not be allowed to work with children. Embezelers should not be allowed to work with finance. But they should not be barred from the church. God's house is a place where we can come and confess our weaknesses, share in community, and be given the support and guidance we need to repent and turn away from the sin. If we're going to shut out one group of "sinners" then we need to shut them all out, and, as a result, close the doors of our church for good, because no one would be left.

Bi-Polar

2008-04-25T12:38:00.001-05:00

I am intrigued by the bi-polar nature of this body as a whole. We spoke all day yesterday of unity and dialogue, and putting aside our agendas in an effort to truly listen to one another. And I already have heard word of committees being "stacked" and steamrolling the elections of the chair, vice, and secretary. I think it is interesting how we can hold one another's hands in one room and pretty much suffer short-term memory loss of that unity the minute we step into our committees and return to our own agendas.

Off to lunch. More later.

Independent Commissions

2008-04-25T12:16:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting in on the Independent Commissions LC this morning. They haven't broken into sub-committees yet, and are dealing as a whole with a petition and resolution regarding the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA). The petition states that the ELCA and the UMC would establish a joint committee to discuss how the two churches would work together. The resolution talks about the communion between the two, that we would basically work together in our Christian work, acknowledging the sacraments and ordination of the other.

My question is...so what if the ELCA recognizes homosexual ordination? (I kinda doubt it, just because of the name, Evangelical, I assume they take the more conservative position). But, if the ELCA chose to accept the ordination of homosexuals, as a result of this resolution, we would be forced to regognize the validity of that ordination.

Pretty cool. Again, doubting it will be an issue, certainly not this year, but still, pretty cool.

The beginning of the Legislative Committees

2008-04-24T20:54:00.003-05:00

My computer battery is dying because I sucked it up downloading the pdf version of the ADCAs this morning. (Quite ironic that I downloaded them so I wouldn't have to carry the ADCAs, and downloading it has made accessing it impossible!) But, before it kicks the bucket for the evening, I wanted to give a quick update. We're divided into legislative committees. I'm hanging out in Conferences, which is going to deal with a lot of the issues about Jurisdiction/Central Conferences and representation to General Conference. A lot of the issues about ordination that had originally been assigned here have been referred to Higher Ed and Ministry (actually Ministry and Higher Ed...why they switch the name for the committee from what the GA is called is beyond me!)

The first thing the LC does is elect a chair, vice chair, and secretary. For the Conferences, the Chair is a Young Adult and the Secretary is a youth, one of the youth from the young person's address this morning. I think that's kind of interesting...again, in my effort to recognize inequality, even when it's in favor of my particular "agenda" if I can say that. Of the three, all are lay, two are young people and Caucasian (the third is African American, female) One of the people who ran for secretary was an ordained person of Asian background, and I think having her elected would have rounded out the diversity in regards to age, clergy/lay, ethnicity, and gender. Though, I must say, as we've begun, they young adult chair and youth secretary are doing a very good job. I'm impressed!

My plan is to rotate among the legislative committees for my time here. There are, according to the agenda, 11 legislative committee sessions, so I hope to make it to 11 of the 13 LCs.

Alright, the count down to D-Day for my precious Mac is 0:15. So, I believe I will allow her to sleep for the evening and I'll be back on tomorrow!

Numbers 2

2008-04-24T14:46:00.003-05:00

Alright, let's continue this conversation.

What makes me a connectional person? Interaction is so integral to my life. Why is that? Where does that come from? Is it a generational thing? It intrigues me, generational theories and characteristics.

The young people did AMAZINGLY! There were six of them, they spoke around the arena. They talked about their various experiences as individuals - one from Russia where Protestant religion is frowned upon, to the point that Protestant youth and young adults often lie to their parents about going to youth. One from Nebraska who discussed the right/left dichotomy of our church and county (and world) and how he chose a third path of the Wesleyan Quadrilateral. A young adult clergy person who talked about the 20/30 ministry she's begun in her congregation. A young African American youth who spoke of the ministry that's needed to the poor, disenfranchised, sick, and left out.

Simplicity. Action. Faith with works. Their call was to the now. Yes, you call us the church of the future, but if we keep talking about the future and what the future will do, and don't focus on the now, there will be no future. We are ready, was the call. Are you?

I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little sick of numbers. So far, if I'm not mistaken, every speaker has mentioned the fact that the UMC is losing members. By this percentage, at this rate, this many in this number of years.

I understand we need people. We need numbers. We need to constantly be growing, stretching, reaching new people, or else we seriously do become irrelevant and ineffective in the simple fact that we don't exist. But it's the same thing as money. If money is our focus, then our ministry is off the mark, in my opinion. If numbers is our focus, then our ministry is off the mark. The problem isn't that we need to bring in new people, it's that we need to transform the ones who are already here, so that others will be drawn to us, because in us they see the face of God. It reminds me of that insurance commercial where the two people are touring the Hoover Dam, and there's a leak. Instead of finding out the root of the problem, the woman just takes out her gum and plugs the hole.

When someone joins my local church, their picture is taken and hung on the board to show the new members. There's a story told that one day, someone joined the church, and after the service asked, "what now?" and the response was "well, you get your picture taken and that's it." Humorous little story, but holy cow, what a message. That's not it. That's only the beginning. As our pastor says, come as you are, but don't expect to stay as you are.

My fear is as we focus on numbers, we return to or enforce the "you have your picture taken and that's it" mindset. Numbers, numbers, numbers. We just want names on our list. Never mind if they come back to anything, or have a transforming experience with Christ, we've got their name, and it's there for at least 5 years!

Even now, as I'm half listening to the Laity address, that's what I'm picking up - we need to invive people to come to church, we can't count on the pastors to grow the membership, we as laity have to be the ones to bring people into the church. What about what we do with them once they're there?

Her three points:
1. Invite, Invite, Invite
2. Carry the name of Jesus with you in missions
3. Claim one personal ministry.
Okay, I'm with the last one. Well, I'm with them all. Collectively. Like the Fruit of the Spirit - you have to take all of them, you can't pick and choose.

I fear this is our direction in our conference with this new vision of reaching out to the unchurched. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm all about reaching out. But what about the ones who are here? I'm all about the future, but what about the now? The language we still use when talking about youth and young adults is that we're the future. No! We're the present, as much as the 72 year old delegate is the present. We're so concerned with who's not here, that I'm afraid we forget about the ones who are.

I'm guilty of this too. I have to acknowledge that. I get so concerned with the young person's vote, I forget that there is a large contingency of young people who are here, speaking, moving, transforming.

And so the call is to the present. We are here. Now, in the present. What are we doing with this present time?

Numbers

2008-04-24T11:41:00.002-05:00

Let me start by saying I'm very impressed with our female bishops - many of them have spoken over the past 2 sessions.

The one speaking right now, presenting the budget, has presented the paradigm of a river. We are standing on the shore of a river. Are we to look back at our past glory, remember the majesty, and dwindle here until we become irrelevant, or will we forge the river and enter into a future of hope?

I'm appreciative of her points. She's spouted off the same statistics that we've been hearing - UM membership is declining in US and Europe, growing in Africa and Asia, young clergy are scarce, we always are in need of more money.

Her point is that God is a God of abundance, and we can no longer look at our ministry with a mindset of "If we just had [this], we could do [this]!" We need to focus on what we have, and move beyond the myth of scarcity.

I sense this movement of simplicity, growing as a (generational-wide?) movement larger than the parts I have experienced. Buy Nothing Day, grassroots political movements, greater focus on "going green" and simplifying our lives by reducing the noise that surrounds us. It's coming together. More later...young people's address is beginning!

Backdrop

2008-04-24T11:37:00.003-05:00

I do have to comment on the amazing staging of this event. The backdrop is a really inventive set of white sheet-type material that's stretched out into various shapes with 4-6 points. White sounds boring, but the amazing thing is they are using lights to change the colors, so the backdrop is always new. It really helps the eyes, and will continue to as we work this week, not having to stare at the same thing every day! I'm very impressed. If I figure out how to upload pictures into this blog, I'll post some.

Organ

2008-04-24T10:31:00.001-05:00

Just a side note. I know that we're not going to find a convention center with a full pipe organ installed, but this electric organ just isn't cutting it for me!

In the Name of God

2008-04-24T09:41:00.002-05:00

Yea! Internet in the arena!

The Bishop's address is going on, I think. I missed the beginning because of posting my previous posts (didn't know internet was accessible in the arena).

The bishop (Sharon Christopher) who led communion this morning did a really good job, I thought. Throughout the communion liturgy, she interspersed information about what's going on in the world around us. She spoke directly to the conflict we often face and encourage at General Conference, about how we treat other baptized Christians as "the other" simply because we don't see eye to eye. She reminded us that John Wesley called us to love one another, and be in communion with one another. If you love and serve God, you are my neighbor, my friend, and we are working together.

This is such a challenge for me, I am realizing. I always think of myself as an inclusive person, but I certainly have my own agenda. I have a passion for young people - who do I disenfranchise in my work to further the voice and presence of young people?

Thursday Morning

2008-04-24T08:25:00.002-05:00

Hello, friends!

I found Internet Access! It wasn't as readily available in our room as I thought, so I ust saved my previous blog and posted it this morning. So, once again, ignore the time stamp - I wrote it last night.

I hope to be posting throughout the day, so check back!

Soaking It All In

2008-04-24T08:24:00.001-05:00

Soaking It All In

Day One and I’m already pooped!

Our flight was fine...you know, I get more stressed out about getting to the flight than the actual flight itself. I know some people have a fear of flying. The flying’s the easy part for me. It’s the security, being on time, and praying they don’t lose my luggage that stresses me out! But, everything worked out well, and if I start going into details from 8am this morning, we’ll be here all night, and as it’s 12:30am (Wednesday morning, actually), that should give you some indication that this will be long enough!

Flight, good. Hotel, well....our room’s wonderful, now that we’re actually here. They’re doing construction on the hotel. I’m beginning to think Texas does construction on their buildings like Tennessee does construction on their roads—constantly. The lobby is a mess, and the second floor where Mark’s office is set up is pretty much a mess, too. But the room is nice. It’s a Sheraton, it better be nice! (And even nicer that I don’t have to pay for it! Yea Mark traveling for work!)

It did take us, well, until about an hour ago to actually get into our room. We arrived at the hotel right about noon, maybe 11:30, and the room wasn’t ready yet. We bummed around for about 2 hours, Mark worked on setting up the office, I read some pamphlets that were supposed to tell us where we were and where we could get food (they didn’t), and by about 1:30, the room still wasn’t ready, so we left our luggage behind the counter and headed to the Convention Center.

First order of business, after acquiring food, of course, was to head to the Young Person’s Orientation. This was good - saw several people I was hoping to see here! Also ran into several of Mark’s co-workers, so he got to catch up with them. All good. The orientation was pretty standard, here’s how committees work, things move fast, make your voice be heard, etc. They did introduce the 6 young people who will be giving the first ever Young Person’s Address to General Conference (tomorrow morning (actually, today...ugh) - 11:35am - you can stream it at www.gc2008.umc.org) and you can also check out the blog of one of the speakers at www.generalconference08.blogspot.com.) At the YP orientation they also got people together who were on the same legislative committees so they could talk and know a friendly face when they actually get into the committees tomorrow.

We met a couple of friends for dinner and talked about the recent ongoings in the TN Conference. Then back to the Convention Center for opening worship and the first session.

Worship was really good. I had a hard time deciding whether I really wanted to be behind the scenes creating and supporting the beauty, or if I wanted to be out there leading it. Still haven’t made up my mind, but I do know I don’t want to be in section 308! I definitely need to be more involved. I’m sure that comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me.
After worship, they did a session, which was the first time they’ve evidently done a session after opening worship - they usually wait until the next day. All in effort to get everyone out of here sooner and shorten our time here. It certainly made for a long meeting tonight!

On the agenda was setting of the bar, adopting the rules, report of the General Conference Committee and a couple of other things. It was interesting to see the work of the body begin. Some issues have already come up, though we’ll have to see how they pan out in the committees before we really know anything. Some that came up:

20 Under 30: requiring that GC and the General Board and Agencies have 20% of their representation under the age of 30.
Removal of petition: question was raised as to whether or not someone can withdraw a petition after submitting it but before General Conference (came up because GB of Church and Society withdrew its petition about divesting from Caterpillar)
Reducing GC to 500-600 delegates, as opposed to 900-100
Constitutionality of petitions - this came up, someone referred the petitions regarding 20 under 30 and other minority representation on boards and agencies to the Judicial Council to review their constitutionality

After we set the rules (amazing work...they adopted all 40 rules in one fell swoop!) they did some presentations, the main one on “Sensitivity Training.” I have to say, it was pretty good. They used clips from The Office - hilarious! They took the ones from the inclusiveness training that they did, where the guy talks about being a “HERO”, and Dwight goes on about how to be a hero you actually need to have a super power and have had something tragic happen to you in childhood that needs to be avenged (opened with that one). They took the one where Michael tells Pam she needs to be the cheerleader for their basketball game (used that to talk about women and equality), and they used another clip for inclusiveness in race. It was good...they didn’t talk about age inclusiveness, which was interesting. Though, let me plug in here that the young people were on their toes tonight - they caught several things that needed to be corrected and made some good points. Also voted emphatically for only audible cell phone use to be banned from the floor (texting is in! not that I have it...) The information they shared about inclusiveness of non-English speaking people was very good, though. They were real about it, honest, even in the filmed presentation they had prepared.

Alright, seeing at it’s now 1:00am, and our bus leaves at 7:15 am, I’m going to bed! They young person’s lounge has free internet, I believe, so hopefully I can give updates throughout the day tomorrow instead of waiting until evening. I also am at least planning on taking out my computer and taking notes during the sessions, because there are so many things I wanted to talk about that my tired brain has simply forgotten about. Each day, I’ll just get better and better at this! If you’re reading this, thanks!

General Conference

2008-04-22T08:58:00.002-05:00

I'm headed to Fort Worth, TX tomorrow morning for General Conference! I'm pretty excited. It'll be an interesting event, as always. I haven't read many of the petitions coming forth, but there are some major issues. Of course, the staple, homosexuality. But they're also dealing with our relationship to Caterpillar and basically the structure of the UMC. There are evidently several petitions to change jurisdictional lines in the US, to do away with one General Conference and have each country act as its own General Conference, and various other things.

I attended GC four years ago for about 3 days, just as an observer. I'm going probably as an observer again, but as second reserve, I may actually get to sit in on something, depending on how everything works out. I'll be there for a week this time, so hopefully I'll get to see a lot!

I'm planning to get there in time to go to the "Women Delegates' Briefing" and the "Young Adult Delegates' Briefing" tomorrow. I'm interested to see what they say at these, especially the Women's one (mainly b/c there isn't a "Men Delegate's Briefing").

You have to pay for internet at the Convention Center, so I'm probably not going to have access to that. But, I think I'll have access at the hotel at night, so I'll post my thoughts from the day each evening (though, probably very late, because I don't think I'll be getting back to the hotel until after 11pm).

Thank you all who have supported me going! It'll be an adventure!

I've Got Something Better

2008-04-19T23:24:00.003-05:00

I saw my second Nooma video Wednesday night. It was called Kickball. It's about not getting what you want. If you're familiar with the series, it's by Rob Bell, and he talks about something each of us face in our lives, and relates it to a personal story or something, and then connects it to our relationship with God. Before we watched the video, the leader asked us to imagine something that we really want, that we've asked for, but haven't yet gotten. Of course, the first thing that comes to my mind is a new job.

I have a great job. It pays well, has great benefits, is extremely flexible, and will look great on a resume. But it's not what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life. I'm not meant to spend my days behind a computer screen in a brown cubicle. But I just can't figure out what it is that I'm supposed to be doing. But, we don't need to get into that now. Suffice it to say, when I'm asked about what it is that I really want, but haven't gotten yet, the first thing that comes to mind is a new job. THE job, the one that challenges me just right, allows me to use all of my God-given gifts, and that invigorates me, instead of leaving me exhausted.

In Kickball, he tells about how he and his wife took their son to the mall. And as they walked down the mall, they came to a kiosk that was selling all these toys. And his son saw a toy that he wanted, a ball attached to a string that you attach to your arm and then throw, and it comes back and you catch it (if you can stop it from hitting you in the face). Now, his son's two and a half. And, like all two and a half year olds, he didn't really understand reasoning. Rob talked about how he and his wife had talked about getting their son a kickball, and they were planning to go to the sports store after their trip to the mall to get him one. But, of course, that means nothing to this two and a half year old standing in the mall, begging and crying for the toy that is in his sights.

So he tried to reason with his son, telling him that he doesn't really want this ball, that it'll just get all tangled and won't be any fun to play with, and that they're leaving to get something better.

Rob then talked about how there's always something we want. And we always think we know what we want, what's best for us. But God, God knows what we need, and when we need it. God is (yet again), like the parent who knows there's more, something better waiting just across the street.

After the video, we talked about it, fairly shallowly, because it's just an hour session with drop-in people - no real covenant group formation or anything like that. But to end the session, the leader asked us to close our eyes and imagine ourselves standing at the kiosk, looking at what it is that we want. And she leads us through this guided imgaining process.

So, I imagine myself standing at the kiosk. On the second shelf down is my perfect job. I don't even know what it is, but it's wrapped in one of those plastic packages that's impossible to get into. I reach out and pick it up. I'm holding it in both hands, gazing at its beauty. This job, this true meaning and fulfillment in my life is in my hands. It could be mine.

Then, God places his hand on my shoulder and says, "No. I've got something better."

I've got something better.

Then God puts the job back on the shelf, picks me up, and carries me out of the mall.

Tears are coming to my eyes, and I try to hide them because I don't really want to get into this right now with others. But it hit me again. God's got something better for me. I don't know what it is, but it's better. My waiting is not for naught. Some day, I have to trust, something better will be here.

It's so frustrating, because I'm such an impatient person. I want it now. It's in my hand, for heaven's sake! But I continue to be told and reminded that where I am is where I'm supposed to be.

So here I am. Until it's time for the something better, I'm here. And all I can pray for is that God will continue to give me the strength to do what it is that God wants me to do, which is obviously to stay right where I already am. So here I am.

Response

2008-04-09T12:37:00.002-05:00

I went to the "listening session" Monday night (April 7) with the Bishop and Loyd Mabry. It was...interesting.

Gavin has posted an audio of it at his blog, gavoweb. I'd encourage you to listen to it and see what you think.

I'm having a hard time. I appreciated the bishop's apology. It disturbs me that he's trying so hard to distance himself from the decision that has been made. I guess it's good, because he knows it was handled badly, and he's trying to not have the blame fall on him, but as the bishop, shouldn't it? It's apparent from other conversations that the bishop wasn't getting the whole story.

And then there's Rev. Mabry. He, apparently, doesn't see anything wrong with what happened. He still thinks he did the right thing, in the right way, and isn't willing to apologize, even though several people opened the door for him to do so.

I did speak, though I don't know how helpful it was because I got emotional and cried. My concern is with Rev. Mabry's response - that he doesn't think he did anything wrong. My concern is when something this atrocious happens, and the person at fault isn't willing to admit fault and apologize, then it can and will happen again.

I got involved in the youth ministry of the Tennessee conference when I was in the 7th grade. I've worked on committees; design teams; district, annual, jurisdictional, and general level committees for over 11 years, supporting the youth and young adult ministries of the TN conference. My mother has been the Coordinator for the children's ministries of the TN conference, working and supporting the ministries in that area. And, out of nowhere, the director of Connectional Ministries decides everything we've been doing is wrong. What does that say? It invalidates me, personally. They kept saying this wasn't personal, that we don't need to make this personal. They were saying that we shouldn't make this about the people who were let go, but it is personal - it's about me. It's about the ministries and missions I've devoted my life to for years, and in one fell swoop, they've made me feel like everything I've worked for over the past 11 years is worthless.

And, back to my concern, if those in charge don't see that they've done anything wrong, what if I do get on board with this "new vision." Say I move past this hurt and continue to be involved, and devote the next 11 years to this new outreach idea to at-risk, unchurched children and youth. What's to say that in 11 years, someone else, or even the same people, come along and wipe out everything we've been doing and usher in something new, following some new buzzword, and invalidate us once again.

Something I kept hearing was numbers. Rev. Mabry must have spouted off 10 different statistics, pointing out various "problems" and so forth. The problem is, ministry is a process, a journey, if you will. Ministry can't be about the numbers. It's not quantity, it's quality. We have to be offering quality ministry - relationships, care, grace, truth. Now, I will grant that the minsitries of the TN conference aren't as good as they could be. There's always room for improvement, and I know there are some who don't feel involved or inluded in the creation and development of the programs. But that can be changed without completely erasing everything that's going on and starting over. And that's not what I'm hearing as the reason behind these moves. The reason is that only 5% of people living in Middle Tennessee are members of United Methodist Churches. If we don't have numbers, what we're doing isn't working.

I feel worthless. And I feel helpless, unable to do anything to change the situation.

The petition is still going to be presented at Annual Conference, so hopefully we'll talk about it there. Other than that, I'm at a loss for what to do.

I apologize - you'd think that nine days after the meeting I'd have my thoughts a little more organized. But with being sick (I had an ear infection for 3 days before and five days after the meeting - fun) and trying to get caught up at work, I haven't had a whole lot of time to think about this. And part of me, I think, is still in shock, or devastated, and I just don't want to think about it. I mean, who really wants to dwell on the feeling of worthlessness and spend her free time mulling over conflict? I, personally, just want to go to bed.

My Letter to the Bishop

2008-03-13T08:59:00.001-05:00

Lots has been going on around here, and since I don't have very many readers of this blog, I'm assuming if you're here, you already know what's going on. So, here's my letter to the bishop that I e-mailed last night and will be snail mailing today if I don't get some sort of response:

Bishop Wills and Rev. Mabry,

I have personally experienced many emotions over the past days as I have tried to understand the recent events of the Tennessee Conference. At first I was angry that two friends in ministry of mine had been treated in a way that left them upset. Then I became gravely concerned about the future of the children, youth, and young adult ministries of the Tennessee Conference. And finally, I became very saddened at the lack of communication that I have witnessed.

I believe that the situation with the program ministries of the Tennessee Conference is one of the gravest disasters our conference has ever made. Not because Beth Morris and Susan Groseclose are no longer employed by the Tennessee Conference (though I do mourn that fact), but because there has been a systematic breakdown in the organization of the Tennessee Conference.

My husband, Mark Hagewood, and I drafted a resolution that we will be sending to the Annual Conference for inclusion in the Pre-Conference booklet to be discussed during Annual Conference that affirms the importance of these age-level ministries in the Conference and calls for these positions to be reinstated. You can read this resolution online at www.ipetitions.com/petition/TNUMCProgrammingPositions/index.html. I do not know what the outcome of this resolution will be, but I will do my best to see that this conversation is had at Annual Conference, whatever transpires between now and then.

I have been reading the e-mails and blogs that have circulated over the past few days as we try to understand what has happened, and the bottom line is, we don't. I have heard from several people who have spoken with you both directly, but I am very interested to hear from you myself before I make my own decisions about the future. The past is another story.

I am open to change. I understand that the way we've been doing ministry is no longer cutting it in our world, as the church loses members left and right every year. Change keeps us focused on the goal. We need to be looking forward, developing leaders, reaching out to others in new and innovative ways.

But the keyword here is WE. In the responses I have heard from people who have talked with you, you have mentioned a new vision, a re-structuring. It is my understanding that vision comes from the community, is embraced by those involved, and shared with those affected. A vision is not a top-down mandate, where the one in charge tells others what their vision will be. Your words say vision—your actions say agenda.

Even if the vision you have for the children, youth, and young adult ministries of the Tennessee Conference is a wonderful, God-inspired vision, the path you have taken to "share" that vision has alienated the very people you should need and want as a part of that vision. I am appalled that not one of the persons currently active in children's, youth, or young adult ministry has to this point even been told officially of what has occurred. We spend a great deal of time and energy working to sustain and develop the ministries of this conference, and I personally feel completely shut out of the current process. The connectionalism of the United Methodist Church works when we use it to its fullest ability. It's a system set in place for the furthering of visions and plans. When you go outside of the system, it dilutes it, and renders it useless for the future.

I have experience with the political system of the United Methodist Church. I've been a delegate to Jurisdictional Conference twice now, a member of the Annual Conference for nine years, and served on the Annual Conference and Southeastern Jurisdictional Conference Youth organizations. My father is a pastor in this conference. I know politics are involved, and that we often hold our cards close when we don't trust the other people involved. But how are we to be in ministry with people we don't trust?

As I write this letter, 278 people have signed the resolution in agreement of having the positions reinstated. Whatever the vision for the future is, it is imperative that we have staff persons who see that the present transforms into the future. We cannot place a break in time by halting what is currently going on with vague plans in the future to start up again with something new. Ministry is an ever-flowing experience, and we all know change in the church happens slowly. While a new vision for the future may be called for and interpreted, we cannot dismiss the past and present for the sake of that future.

I hope that you will engage me in your conversations with those concerned about the ministries of the Tennessee Conference. In seeking God's will, we will, together, find God's presence and vision for our church.

Sign this petition!

2008-03-11T09:01:00.000-05:00

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/TNUMCProgrammingPositions/

The Programming Positions of the Tennessee Conference have been eliminated. The United Methodist Church is in a leadership crisis, and these ministries directly impact the development of current and future leadership in our church. If you've ever been affected by the programs (children, youth, young adult) of the Tennessee Conference, sign this petition to have these positions reinstated.

Living In A Tent

2008-01-04T13:00:00.000-06:00

I went on a retreat a few months back with my husband's family's church. It was a lot of fun, in the mountains, rustic, you know. The camp we went to is one of my favorites, one I went to a lot growing up, so it was kind of like a homecoming, even though I didn't know a lot of the people there.

The speaker, a former pastor of the church, talked about living in tents. His whole meaning was that God calls us to live in tents (figuratively speaking, of course), that in our lives we're not supposed to plant deep roots in our present life, but to live in a tent so we're ready to pack up and go as soon as God calls us to move.

I did a lot of thinking about this particular concept - living in a tent. And I decided/realized that I'm not living in a tent. I'm not living anywhere. I've got my tent packed and ready to go. I'm so anxiously awaiting the next thing in my life, that my tent has never had its stakes in the ground.

This idea of living in a tent has come back to me many times since this particular retreat. It seems every time I start unpacking my emotions and thinking about putting down roots in the present, God calls me to be prepared to move. And then just when I get everything packed up again, God tells me to settle down and continue setting up camp. Living in a tent. It's an emotional rollercoaster, I tell ya. But it's kind of exciting. It keeps things interesting. What's going to happen today? Is today a day of packing and moving? Or is today a day of settling? And, you know, no matter which I wake up thinking it is, it usually turns out to be the other.

Beginnings

2008-01-02T21:29:00.000-06:00

I like beginnings. Definite beginnings. And endings. I think that's why I liked school so much. There was always a definite beginning and ending. Beginning: First day of classes. Endng: Last day of exams. Forget all of the stress in between (I have). But things aren't like that anymore. Here it is, the 3rd of January, and I don't feel much different than I did on December 30. But a new beginning has begun. So I thought I'd mark it with a new blog. I mean, if my world no longer has definite beginnings and endings, then I can create them where I want to, right?

And with that, here is one beginning I'm instating for myself (is that a word? don't you have to instate something before you can reinstate it? makes sense to me...): A new attitude. Ali Edwards (once I figure out linking, I'll link) prompted readers of her blog to come up with a word that they want to focus on for the year. She's done this for three years now. Two years ago her word was peace. Last year it was play. She uses it as a way to focus throughout the year, maybe as a prompt for a scrapbook page or just a way to start getting words out there to talk about what's going on. I thought I'd try this out. My word for 2008 is content. I feel like over the past year I've been looking to the future - what's going to happen next, to the point that I'm missing what's going on around me. I don't want to lose my dreamer status, nor give up on what possibilities are in store for me, I just feel like I need to focus my eyes on the present, and look to the future with my peripheral vision.

So, with that said, I'm going to stop talking about the present and go live it.